


Cauldrons and Lilies

by jpena



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-10-25 21:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10772862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jpena/pseuds/jpena
Summary: "This train will take you where you have to be. Severus, listen to me, this is a rare occasion." Albus held his shoulders and he realized he was shorter than the headmaster. That couldn't be, he'd been taller than Albus ever since he was nineteen and finally stopped growing.





	1. Chapter 1

“Look at me.” He said breathlessly and looked into those beautiful green eyes for one last time. Potter knew about his fate and he could die peacefully now. Dumbledore had been adamant that Harry must possess the sword of Gryffindor and know about the piece of Voldemort inside of him. Severus suspected that the boy was a horcrux and had finally confronted Albus’s portrait the night before. The Dark Lord had guarded Gringotts, Bellatrix vault to be exact and Nagini was now encased in a magical bubble.   
Severus paced around his office. “How many are there?” He asked the old man.  
“How many what?” the portrait didn’t look surprised.   
“Don’t play innocent. How many horcruxes are there?” The old man explained and assured him that Harry was almost finished with them, the diadem was the only artifact left.   
Severus closed his eyes and hoped that Potter was successful. He had protected the boy with his dying breath. There wasn’t more he could do, he fulfilled his promise, and his last thought was of Lily. Maybe he would see her in the afterlife, he doubted it. He’d never believed in such nonsense. Severus Snape exhaled his last breath thinking of Lily Evans. He hadn’t stopped since he met her when he was nine years old. His last regret was that he wouldn’t see those green eyes ever again.   
He looked around and noticed the lack of sound first. It looked like King’s Cross, and there were people waiting, he saw the old man. “I thought I would see you here.” Albus said happily.   
“I don’t understand.” Severus replied as greeting and he didn’t. He was sure there was nothing after death.  
“Here we are son.” Albus led him to some benches.   
“You have done wonderfully Severus.” Albus patted his back.  
“Why am I here?” Severus looked around and the place was strikingly white and deserted. He looked down and noticed he didn’t wear his usual black robes but faded blue jeans and his favorite black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. He didn’t wear muggle clothing since he was a teenager.   
“Would you want to go back Severus?” Albus asked with a twinkle in his eyes.   
Severus shook his head, “No.” he said firmly. Why would he go back? To a world without Lily, he wanted to rest, to be free of it all.   
“I think you would. You see Severus every once in a while we get men who are full of regrets.” The wizard looked at his mentor with a puzzled face.   
“Of course we all have regrets and but there are some men who have deep regrets and those regrets anchor them to the world of the living. “Pardon.” Surely Albus wasn’t implying that he would be a ghost, a pathetic memory of who he was when he was alive.   
“Severus you can’t go on.” Albus said with a small smile.   
“Albus, I will not return as a ghost. I’m not afraid of going on even if I go to that supposed hell my father talked about when he was drunk.” Severus said angrily.   
“No, my boy you are mistaken.” Albus still wore that maddening smile of his. Severus would have wanted to attack the old man. Didn’t he deserve to finally rest. He wanted peace. Severus waited in silence. Albus was distracted admiring the structures around them. In his mind Severus was ready to go on. He didn’t want to live anymore; he had served his purpose. He protected Harry.  
Wasn’t death supposed to give you knowledge? He wanted to know about Harry. “The boy did he die too.”  
Albus looked at him, “yes, well, the part that of Voldemort that resided in him is dead. Harry decided to go back and fight.”  
“Will he defeat the Dark Lord?” He asked encouraged by Albus’ answers.   
“He will. Harry will live a long happy life. He’ll be an auror and have three children with Ginny Weasley. One of them will be named after both of us. According to him you were the bravest man he knew.” Severus let out a small laugh. “How very Gryffindor of him.”  
The old wizard ignored his comment and continued with his admiration of the premises. Severus grew impatient. “Where am I going then?”  
“I thought you would never ask.” The older man stood up and walked toward a train. It looked like the Hogwarts Express only it was empty and it looked older and much cleaner.  
“This train will take you where you have to be. Severus, listen to me, this is a rare occasion.” Albus held his shoulders and he realized he was shorter than the headmaster. That couldn’t be, he’d been taller than Albus ever since he was nineteen and finally stopped growing.   
“Good luck Severus.” Albus hugged him and then walked away.   
“Albus wait, you must explain.” But the man didn’t listen or didn’t want to. He tried to walk with him but he found he was rooted to his spot. He looked at the train and boarded it. He sat down and then closed his eyes suddenly he was tired and wanted to sleep.   
He could hear people speaking. “Bugger off Nott. It’s Saturday.” He heard a young man shout. “Get up you bloody tosser, you shagged my sister. She’s fourteen years old.” A second voice said and he heard the unmistakable sound of a fist connecting with flesh.   
“She loved every minute of it.” The first young man taunted. Severus opened his eyes and he saw green canopy curtains.   
He was very disoriented, he remembered Dumbledore and the train. He stood up and opened the curtains. In front of him were three beds. Two young men fighting in different states of dress, “Snape, he’ll agree with me.” A blond haired young teenager stated. He seemed to be winning the fight.   
“Alethea Nott slept with me yesterday.” Severus was utterly confused now.   
“She’s fucking fourteen, Carrow.” Nott spoke up. Severus would recognize him anywhere; he looked just like Theodore his son.   
“She wasn’t a virgin.” Amycus. That was Amycus Carrow about twenty-one years ago. They were two of his roommates when he was in Hogwarts. He shared a room with Nott, Carrow, Dolohov and Mulciber.   
It couldn’t be, he was supposed to be dead, to finally have peace and cease to exist. He dashed to the loo. He barely registered the cold floors of the dungeons. He looked in the mirror. His reflection startled him, although it should have. It all pointed to the fact that he was back. He told Dumbledore he didn’t want to be back. He looked at his face, pale but unlined and his eyes were the same as he remembered, his nose just as hooked and his hair just as stringy and greasy. His shoulders were not as broad as before and he was painfully skinny. He looked at his forearm and noticed with an air of deep relief that there was no Dark Mark.   
Severus then smiled, this meant Lily was still alive and maybe, maybe they still were friends. He showered quickly was glad he didn’t have to shave yet. He remembered having to use razors when he was seventeen. He washed his hair and then dried it with warming spell and dressed in his faded jeans and black shirt. He ran out of the room without saying a word to his classmates.   
He made it past the Great Hall and looked for her but couldn’t find her. He hadn’t even asked what year it was. He would do that after he hugged her hard. He ran to Gryffindor tower and started parroting off passwords and the Fat Lady wouldn’t budge.  
“Lemon drops. Caput Draconis. Godric. Griffin, Fortuna Major, pig snout.” A few Gryffindors walked past him and took pity on him. “Tell Evans that Snivellus is here.” Snotty Mary McDonald said.   
He waited for Lily to cross the portrait she didn’t. He lost some hope; maybe he had already called her that horrible name. A first year came through the hole. It was then, he realized that it didn’t matter. It wasn’t too late. He didn’t have the mark and he would beg, grovel and do anything to have her back in his life. He seized the opportunity and moved quickly past the first year and made it into the Gryffindor common room.  
In all his years as a student, teacher and headmaster he had never been inside of Gryffindor tower. This was the lion’s den and he was a serpent through and through. He spotted her immediately. She was laughing with another girl.   
He ran to her and hugged her hard; some tears even escaped his eyes. “Oh Lils.”  
He inhaled that unmistakable scent of hers, vanilla, fresh parchment and lavender. “Sev, you’re squishing me.”   
His heart galloped wildly. She called him Sev, she had never called him Sev again, not after the incident. He was back and he hadn’t called her mudblood yet. He was back and she still loved him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Lily laughed when he twirled and he laughed with her. Her laugh was such a beautiful sound. She looked just like he remembered her, the same striking green eyes, the same freckles and the graceful nose. She smiled and her lips looked just as ruby red, her hair. He remembered running his fingers through her hair while they studied. His trance like state was broken by someone pulling her from his grasp. He looked up to see Black and Potter.   
“You can’t be here Snivellus.” Black aimed his wand at him; in his haste Severus had forgotten his wand in his dormitory. He could do wandless magic but he doubted performing such magic would be wise even if he only was here for a day. It wouldn’t help his other self.   
Thankfully Lily as always intervened in his favor. “Don’t call him that.” She came to his defense and trained her wand at the Marauders.   
He didn’t want to waste time. “Lil’s, I’ve got to speak to you.” He pulled her and they exited the common room.  
Lily looked puzzled. They were walking to the black lake, their favorite spot to be when she stopped him. “There’s something off about you.” She stopped and held on his hand.   
“There’s nothing different about me. What could be different?” He asked innocently.   
“Let me look at you.” She looked at him and then smiled, “You’re the same Sev but your attitude is different.”  
They walked to the edge and had sat down. “You didn’t hex Potter or Black.”  
He ignored her comment, “I wanted to ask you something.” Severus smiled when Lily frowned; she was annoyed by his evasion.  
“Only if you tell me why you didn’t hex Sirius,” He frowned back and agreed when she started to get up to go back inside the castle.   
“I knew you would get angry.” Severus didn’t look at her in the eyes and cut some of the weeds with his fingers.   
She didn’t press more; they lay on the grass looking at the sky just like they did when they were children. He was relaxed and happy for the first time in more than twenty years. She sighed, “You wanted to ask me something.” She stated.  
“Right, I can’t remember the date.” She laughed. “I told you to stop writing in that blasted book. You stop eating and thinking.”   
He nodded sheepishly, as a student he had told Lily almost everything about him and she knew him better than his own parents and he knew her better than anyone else too. He remembered being consumed with inventing new spells and bettering potions. It had to be fifth year. Lily kept ranting, “Honestly Sev. You have to take care of yourself. I bet this is the first time this week that you’ve washed your hair.” She teased him. The other Severus would have retorted with something sour but he faked an offended face. “You wound me Lils.” She laughed at the face he pulled and he decided he would do everything to hear as many laughs as possible.  
“Humor me Lils.” He said the nickname tasted sweet.   
“Very well, today is Saturday September 27, 1975.” She said simply. Severus nodded.   
“That’s it?” She asked and frowned when he nodded. He could see that she would ask a billion questions if he didn’t appease him. “Fine, I wanted to know how much time we have until our O.W.L.S.”   
“I can tell that you’re lying to me.” Lily’s face turned serious. “Sev, I heard from Emmeline Vance that she saw you and Yaxley hexing third years.”  
Severus remembered, it had been around this time when he had begun associating with the next circle of death eaters. Dolohov was already inducted. Lucius and him were friends since childhood and had taken the mark during that summer. Mulciber and Carrow were to be inducted by Christmas, Nott and him were to be inducted by September that following year. Severus shook his head a little. The Dark Lord wouldn’t introduce the Dark Mark until his seventh year. They were Death Eaters in training.   
Lily looked at him with her big green eyes and told him softly, “Severus, Dolohov and Mulicber hate muggle borns. They call me mudblood, they are bullies.” Severus didn’t know what to say. Lily was right his classmates were bigots and potentially dangerous. He couldn’t swear to her that he wouldn’t associate with them. It would raise even more suspicions.   
“Lils, they are my friends…” He began; he remembered all those discussions they had because of his alliances.  
“They’re bad people.” She argued and complained. Lily was stubborn and tended to lecture and be self righteous when it came to him and his classmates.   
Severus remained quiet, the teenage Severus would have railed and argued but he had her back and for almost twenty years he had mourned her absence. He didn’t want to spoil this. Severus evaded her gaze when she asked him to promise to not be friends with Dolohov and Mulciber.  
Lily seemed to give up too, “What do you say we go to Hogsmeade?” She proposed.  
Severus sighed, “Fine but no Three Broomsticks or Honeydukes.”   
Lily smiled, “You’re no fun.” She stood up and pulled him up; they agreed to meet at the entrance in twenty minutes.   
He didn’t have a care in the world and chose a warmer and decidedly old green jumper. He met Lily and they set out to town. Severus and her talked and spent the day with her. It had a dream quality to it and he was happy. He was sure he would wake up any moment and be dead so he would enjoy this time with Lils. They walked around Hogsmeade and ended drinking chocolate outside of the Three Broomsticks. Lils hated butterbeer.  
“You did say no Three Broomsticks.” Lily remarked and he laughed.   
“It’s so good to hear you laugh. I haven’t heard you laugh since your dad left.” Severus remembered Tobias Snape left him and mum that summer. Tobias tried to hit Eileen. His father was a drunk, a mean abusive drunk but he’d never hit him or mum until that night or so Eileen assured him. Tobias tried to backhand his wife because she had tried to go back to her parents and ask for money.   
“You fucking witch.” Severus remembered clearly when he got in the middle and he received the backhand. “Don’t you dare touch her you drunk.” Severus had said. His father looked as if he had been to one to have received the blow and staggered out of the house. Severus never saw him again. Eileen blamed her son for her husband disappearance. She loved Tobias and resented him for turning him away.   
Severus sobered up, “I’m sorry Sev.” Lily noticed his face and changed subjects quickly to Petunia’s new boyfriend, Vernon Dursley and how much they disliked him.   
It had been a good day; he spent it all with Lils and enjoyed her chattering and their close friendship. No marauders to bother them, just them. He closed his eyes and expected to be back with Dumbledore at King’s Cross.  
He woke up from a horrible nightmare. He was falling and the vertigo sensation never stopped since he never hit the ground. He looked around, the same curtains and his old room while he was a student. It hadn’t been a dream; he was really back to his fifth year. The fear overwhelmed him suddenly. What was she doing back? Why was he here? He tried to remember Dumbledore’s words. Severus sat up and went into the restroom. “Think, Severus.” the old man said that few got this opportunity. To do what, he was back before he was a Death Eater. Severus wasn’t precisely a scholar but he knew one could not meddle with timelines. There wasn’t another one of him, it was only him and the knowledge he had of things already changed something in the timeframe. He hyperventilated and looked again he was still fifteen and nothing would change that fact.   
He tried to remember Dumbledore’s words once more and couldn’t comprehend why he would have to relive this again. It wasn’t a secret to the old man that he had always regretted taking the mark. Severus felt the cold marble against his spine and focused on the cold. He needed to concentrate, he died, he was sure of that. Dumbledore said few men had the opportunity to ride that train and then he woke up as a teenager, before he had committed to the Death Eaters. He shivered a little and continued with his thoughts. It was 1975, Voldemort was a threat. He felt an icy chill that didn’t have anything to do with the dark marble against his back. Horrcruxes, there were pieces of Voldemort scattered around the Wizarding World. Why would Dumbledore sent him back to all of this? Was this his penitence? Severus realized that it couldn’t be because Lily was here and she was alive. For a heart wrenching second he thought that maybe he was destined to betray her again. “No, I won’t do it. It will not happen, not like last time.” He stood up again and marched out of the lavatory.   
He shrugged a well worn student robe and went to the seventh floor. The room of requirement would be the perfect place. He stood just in front of the empty wall and concentrated. “I want answers.”  
The door appeared and he was inside the room it looked like a library and there was a desk in front of him with a single page, from the Headmaster.  
This is your second chance. A single line written by Dumbledore, he almost trashed the place. How could this be his second chance? Wizards were not supposed to meddle with time. Severus kicked the chair and picked a book. The title wasn’t a surprise to him, it was about time, space and relative dimensions. He sat in a corner and started reading. He spent the whole afternoon in that same spot. Severus read and wrote about time travel and came to the single conclusion that Harry Potter needed to be born so the prophecy could be fulfilled. It was more than three books described it a fixed point in time.   
He rubbed his eyes and left the room, amazed that he wasn’t sore or tired, just hungry for the first time in years. He remembered how hungry he was all the time as a teenager. He arrived just in time to the Great Hall and shoveled all the food he could take. Mulciber and Nott invited him to a game of exploding snap but he declined.  
He wanted to go back to the room of requirement to do more research but was stopped by Lily. “Sev, I’ve been looking for you all over the castle. Where have you been?”  
Severus felt the same tingles he felt whenever he was near her. “I was in my dorm studying.” He lied easily. Lily frowned, her face distrustful. Severus stretched. “Want to go to the room of requirement.” She asked hopefully. Severus smiled; it had been their safe haven from the marauders and his classmates.   
“Fine.” They went to the seventh floor and the room took a different appearance. It looked like a common room but with neutral colors. She took his hand and they sat down in the couch. Lily laughed suddenly. “Why are you laughing?” he asked.   
“Nothing, I hexed Potter with the new spell you taught me.” She giggled, “You should have seen his stupid face.”   
Severus laughed a little, trying to mask his pain. She would be Potter’s just like before and there was nothing he could do or bad things would happen. He wouldn’t become a Death Eater however. He would be by her side, make sure she was protected fight for the Order if it was necessary. Dumbledore was meant to know about the Horrcruxes on his own. He only had to wait and maybe drop some hints as to the diary and the ring. Those were the only items he knew about.   
“Sev, Sev.” Lily shook his arm. “I’m sorry Lils I’m tired.” He said as a poor excuse for the fact that he hadn’t heard a single word of what she said.   
Lily’s eyes became sad. “I don’t understand you Sev. Yesterday was wonderful, I finally had you back and today you act so distant just like before. Something changed after you spoke with Malfoy. What is it Sev?”  
Severus frowned; the moment that he went back things started shifting, or so one author stated. According to many books in the room of requirement the major events couldn’t change but everyday life events would shift and become different versions of the old things. His mere knowledge of things shaped and shifted this new reality.   
“Nothing Lils. I’m fine.” He said and an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Lily and his rift started their fifth year, he could sense it.  
She looked hurt but nodded; he had forgotten how well they knew each other. They had been best friends since they were 9 year olds and told each other everything; well at least it had been that way until he realized he was in love with her. Severus knew he loved her when he was fourteen and in their third year. Lily was a ball of energy that day, one of her friends; Alice Smith kissed a boy, Frank Longbottom.   
“I want to know what it feels like.” She said.  
Severus’ eyes widened, “What?” he barely had time to say more when Lily planted a big kiss on his mouth. His heart beat rose and he felt a huge hole in his stomach. Lily looked at him and blinked. They never spoke about again, Lily ran out and he realized he was in love with her.  
“Sev?” He shook his head again.   
“You were out again. You’ve been doing that a lot. Sev, tell me please.” She asked once more, she was persistent and worse than a dog with a bone.   
“I had a dream and you were dead.” He finally said and averted his eyes. She gasped.   
He would never tell her the truth. Lils would never understand and he didn’t want to burden her with the knowledge that she was destined to die for her son. “You died and I betrayed you. He killed you and I told her where you were.” He said with a small voice.  
“It was just a dream and I know you would never hurt me. “Not on purpose." She said just as quietly. He looked at her and saw her sad face. "I know about the death eaters Sev. They're not good people. They hate us."

He nodded, "I know." She hugged him. "I feel like you're pulling away from me. I don't want to lose you to them." She hugged him hard and he hugged her with the same strength. Severus shook his head and promised her. "I'll never hurt you or ever leave you Lily Evans. I love you, you're my best friend." He said and looked at her wet green eyes.

She moved closer and kissed him. Severus knew how to respond to her and kiss her softly. In his past lifetime he had kissed her once when he was fourteen and never again. He was sure this was his last chance to taste her sweet lips.

He kissed her expertly, slowly and determined to make it special. He was selfish but his Lils was to be for another man. He entangled his tongue with hers and moaned when she ran her fingers through his hair and then she was so close. He could feel all of her and parts of his anatomy responded. So did his brains. This wasn't supposed to be. Lily had to marry Potter. The prophecy was a fixed point in time. Harry Potter was to vanquish Tom Riddle. 

He ended the kiss and they looked at each other with fear. It was Lily who spoke first. "I'm sorry Sev, I have to go." She ran out of the room without looking back. He smiled and closed his eyes. He had kissed Lily Evans again and that was something to be happy about.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Severus looked in the mirror again. It was Monday morning and he had to face classes, the marauders and Lily. He yawned and stretched, he needed to take a shower and dress for History of Magic or so Nott yelled. “Shut it you git.” Mulciber growled and stumbled inside the lavatory. “Snape I need your notes for charms.” Severus sighed and continued looking at his large nose and his limp hair. He hadn’t grown into nay of his features yet. He was very thin even though he ate everything in sight and his skin was pale. That his fault, he never stepped outside if he could avoid it, “Snape your charms notes.” Someone said behind one of the showers. Severus shook his head, “inside my trunk.” Severus needed to avoid his classmates as much as possible. He didn’t want power or connections anymore. He wanted to be left alone. 

He brushed his crooked teeth and left the lavatory. He picked his black knapsack and didn’t wait for anyone. He rushed out of the common room; he glanced at Narcissa and Regulus who tried to get his attention. He waved, then left. He made his way up to the Great Hall, and sat next to Magnolia Greengrass, well Crouch to be exact who beckoned him to sit next to her. “Good morning Severus.” She chirped happily. He was surprised Eamon Greengrass by her side. They were two years above him and were pleasant to him. 

“Morning.” He said shortly. She smiled and fixed him a plate. Magnolia truly was a salvation. He was glad her and Eamon stayed away from Death Eater activities and fled with their girls. 

“Cheer up Severus.” Magnolia smiled and handed him tea. “Where’s your boyfriend?” he asked sourly. 

“He’s with Slughorn already. He needed tutoring for his N.E.W.T.S.” She bit delicately into her scone. Prim and proper Magnolia just like Narcissa, her best friend. Both bred to be decorative pieces. “I could have tutored him.” He said sluggishly. 

“You’re a fifth year Severus.” She rolled her eyes and continued with her breakfast. He wanted to go back to sleep or have coffee or maybe smoke. He chewed slowly and mechanically until Cissy dropped next to him. “You should have waited for me. I know you don’t like Reg but he’s not Sirius.” Cissy spat angrily. 

Severus looked at her as if she was insane. “Don’t pull that face Snape.” She frowned and then switched to speak with Magnolia. He shook his head, and kept on eating and heard some complaints about him. Cissy and Magnolia chattered about him, fashion and their boyfriends. 

He looked to the other tables and found Lils and Lupin smiling and talking. Potter, Black and the rat were sniggering with some girls. He dropped his head on the table and tried to close his eyes. “Not again Severus.” Cissy screeched. “You have History of Magic.” She pulled on his sleeve. Severus tried to shrug her off. “I don’t have to go. I can read the books tonight.” He mumbled. He was really sleepy and wanted to go back to his warm bed. He didn’t remember being this sleep deprived when he was a teenager. 

“Come on Severus. You have to go, remember your O.W.L.s” Magnolia sing sang and pulled him up. Severus stood up and walked up to the classroom. Cissy and Magnolia left to go to divination. He didn’t rush, he was still feeling sluggish. He really needed to sleep more than his regular four hours. It was painfully obvious that this body was used to more than eight hours of sleep. He rubbed his eyes and didn’t feel the hex until it was too late.

“Hey there Snivellus.” Black and Potter. He should have known. Why did he let his guard down. He touched his head and realized they used some spell to make his hair sticky. He looked at his fingers and found what looked like tar. Black guffawed and Potter messed his own perfect locks. “You should wash your hair more often Greasy Snivellus.” The bespectacled git taunted. Severus wasn’t one to keep still not when it came to this toe rag as Lils called him.

Severus aimed his wand and hexed them both with the same hex. They were both surprised by the attack. “You son of a bitch.” Black touched his hair and spread the substance all over his hair. Severus laughed, Potter hexed him but Severus stopped it again. Black and Potter attacked again and again. Severus tried to defend himself but he was tired and soon they overpowered him. Thankfully a Ravenclaw past by and ran to get professor Flitwick. Soon they were separated and sent to the infirmary.

Madam Pomfrey was enraged. “This is the fifth time this term. You three better stop crowding my infirmary with this silly fights and spells. The three of you have detention for the rest of the month. I don’t want to see you three in this infirmary unless it is an illness or quiddicth related injuries.” She yelled at them and didn’t even bother to undo any spells. She conjured a pair of shears and cut the damaged hair. Black and Potter tried to escape and he thought he heard Potter’s voice break. Soon they were both sporting shaved heads. Severus waited for his turn patiently. He didn’t care if he didn’t have any hair, just looking at Potter’s oversized bald head was enough payback. 

“I don’t want to see you here Severus.” Madam Pomfrey said firmly and carefully cut the ends of his oily hair. She washed his hair and gave him a haircut. Severus smiled, the nurse had always liked him. She could tell the Marauders were trouble makers and knew that Severus defended himself. She tolerated his behaviors until sixth year when his attacks became offensive. 

“Thank you Madame Pomfrey.” He almost called her Poppy. She smiled. “You should keep your hair shorter until you learn how to take care of it Severus.” The nurse said with a reproachful tone. He nodded and looked in the mirror, he didn’t look exactly bad, but his nose was still too large. At least his hair didn’t get in way anymore. He went straight to Transfigurations which he shared with Hufflepuffs. Minerva commented on his lack of punctuality and gave him a day’s worth detention since his assignments were uncompleted. He merely nodded and had a seat. By the time he made it to the Great Hall there was enough time to shovel food. 

“What happened to your hair?” Cissy asked with a smile.

“Black and Potter hexed me.” He replied between mouthfuls of baked chicken and potatoes. 

“We know that but their heads are shaved.” Yaxley commented. Severus shrugged and continued eating. Being hungry was comforting; it had been years since he felt hungry and enjoyed food. He felt all eyes on him “what?” he looked to his right and Lily was there. She didn’t like to go over the Slytherin table.

“I need to speak with you.” She grabbed his arm sleeve and pulled him. He looked at the chicken and managed to grab some pumpkin juice before Lils dragged him out of the Great Hall.

“Is it true that you hexed James and Sirius behind their backs.” She asked seriously.

“No, I would never.” He said outraged. He wasn’t a coward.

“Fine, then why did you hex them?” She asked softly as if once again disappointed in him.

Severus blinked and replied coldly. “Has it ever dawned upon you that I might be telling you the truth? Why do I always have to be in the wrong?” 

Lily met his eyes slowly. “I’m sorry.” She said apologetically. “You look nice.” She blushed a little and he smiled.

“My nose is too large but it could be worse.” He shrugged. Lils laughed and looped her arm around his. “We need to go to the library and you have to help me with my potions’ assignment.” She said as an excuse. He knew that she needed no help, especially potions. 

They went to the library and found their usual table at the far back. Severus relaxed and they did homework just like they had done before. Lils finished with a sigh and then looked at him still writing in his spidery handwriting. “Come on Sev. We have potions in twenty minutes. We need to go down to the dungeons.” She tugged at his hand. Severus glared at her. “Lils. We could make it in ten. Let me finish.” She magicked her homework inside her knapsack. 

He finished his essay and ran after her. They ran downstairs and then walked when Filch saw them. “What are we doing this weekend?” She asked and he shrugged. “We’re not going to Hogsmeade for sure.” He said and then they were inside Slughorn’s classroom. They partnered together and endured the class with Potter and Black glaring at him all the way. 

That first week back Severus found out that his memories were not as accurate or he was rewriting things. Severus found the dynamics of being a teenager again were frustrating and fascinating. He was hungry and seemed to be growing per minute. He slept soundly and could only be woken by actual pillows to his head that Carrow provided with pleasure. He had declined any activities with his fellow Slytherins saved for Magnolia, Cissy and sometimes Nott. He also spent more time with Lily. Their friendship strengthened, they were together at every opportunity to the point of spending all the time possible together. They no longer did homework in their common rooms but in the library and spent all breaks in abandoned classrooms talking. Their renewed bonds were not unnoticed. Black and Potter were relentless in their pursuit. Severus had refrained from actually harming them because of two reasons. Lily would learn about Potter’s immaturity and second because he couldn’t raise any suspicions from the teachers. Slughorn was already impressed by his abilities. The young man had said something about studying for his O.W.L.s. 

By Christmas break Severus was reacquainted with his life as a student. It was easier to bear the schoolwork and keep her friendship with Lils. They used the room of requirement to study one last night before they left home for the Holidays. “We’ll have so much fun Sev.” He nodded. He wasn’t looking forward to the break. Lily had loving parents and even Tunney looked a little happy whenever Lily came back for the holidays. Mum would be happy to see him too but she was too depressed to do anything. Ever since Tobias left she seemed to not care anymore. 

They boarded the train, not a lot of people stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas break. He was supposed to stay with Mulciber and Yaxley for their meeting with Lucius. He was one of the first students to sign his name to board the Hogwarts express. The train ride was uneventful. Lily and him stayed in one compartment with Alice, she was skittish of him but Lily as always managed to smooth things over. Alice like her son had a gift for herbology and Severus managed to have an in depth conversation with her. Longbottom looked a lot like her. He felt embarrassed in front of her. Severus made her son’s life a nightmare. “I didn’t know you cared this much about plants Snape.” Alice finished with a smile when they were about to leave the train.

Severus shrugged, “I like potions and they coexist.” Lily giggled. “Severus is a perfect know it all.” He frowned at her and used his best professor voice. “I happen to care Ms. Evans.” Both girls laughed hysterically and he kept a small smirk. They laughed now but he calculated that in about six months his voice would change definitely and in the right circumstances they would be putty in his hands. Teenage hormones, he had forgotten about those. 

Alice found her Auror boyfriend and ran to hug him. Harry and Rose Evans waved at them from a safe distance. It was then when he noticed mum. She looked young, healthy, happy. Her black hair was lustrous and she wore a big smile. This woman was so different from the grey and sickly woman he remembered. Lily was already hugging her mum. He looked to the man next to his mum and a blind rage took over him. Tobias Snape looked back at him. He looked nervous, scared, his father looked well too. They looked very much alike; there was no doubt that they were father and son.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4   
Severus was utterly speechless. He was too confused; this wasn’t supposed to happen. He wouldn’t live through his father’s insults and drunken tirades again. He was rooted in his spot; it wasn’t until someone pushed him forward that he regained his senses. He walked to his parents. His mother looked radiant. “Hello mum.” He said and was pleasantly surprised when Eileen Snape hugged him. “I’m so happy to see you. We have so many surprises for you.”  
Tobias looked at him, “Hi Sev.” He said slowly, Severus inherited his looks and voice. His father’s voice was deeper than his. Severus was surprised and in a heartbeat remembered, it was him, Tobias who nicknamed him Sev, he had forgotten but it was his dad who used to call him by the nickname when he was young. “Sir.” He addressed his father. The tension was palpable. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want Tobias to be here.   
“We could give you a ride if you’d like Eileen?” Harry Evans said congenially.   
“Thank you Mr. Evans but I secured a car earlier this week.” Tobias said with a calm voice that Severus hadn’t heard in decades. The two men nodded.   
“Bye Sev.” Lily was in front of him and hugged him fiercely as if she wouldn’t see him again until September. “I don’t know what’s happening either. Mum’s tight lipped about it but I’m sure I’ll get Tunney to tell me all about it.” She whispered. Severus hugged her back and smiled when she kissed his cheek and ran to get to her parents.   
His parents were going through the wall when Severus caught up with them. He sullenly followed them. Was this one of the changes the books mentioned? He shouldn’t worry, this affected Lily in the least. Tobias Snape was his problem to deal with. Mother was strangely cheerful. “You’re going to love the house Severus. Your father has worked on it the whole winter. He even fixed your window.” The car was obviously second hand but it seemed well taken care of. Tobias drove perfectly, he looked clean-shaven. His mother kept asking him questions about school. Tobias didn’t twitch or made any rude comment. Severus gave as much details and excluded the muggle even when mum tried to include him.  
Once they were parked at Spinner’s End Tobias carried the trunk to Severus bedroom. He insisted to be the one to do so. Severus took advantage of his absence, “What is he doing here?” He asked with a hiss.   
“He’s really trying love. He’s your father and he went back to school. He works in the mornings and goes to night school. He’s getting his accountant certification in a few months. His boss at supermarket offered him a management post once he does.” Mum explained with a smile.   
Severus shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. I bet he’s still drinking. Did you forget about last time? He tried to hit you.” He said in an agitated voice. Couldn’t she understand? Tobias Snape was bad news. A mean drunk who given the opportunity would become violent towards her. He wouldn’t be here to protect her from him.  
Her smiled faded, “Don’t talk about your father in that manner.” She said with a tight voice.   
She caressed his face; she was still taller than him. She looked beautiful, happy so unlike his memories. “He’s changed for the better. He came one-night crying, just after you went to Hogwarts. He said he had a dream about me and you dying. He was incoherent love. Your father was so confused. He thought he had killed us in one of his drunken fits. He hasn’t had a drink since. I promise you darling, he’s changed, for good now.”  
“Are you insane? He’ll never change. He’s a drunk and he’ll strike you mum. You have to decide mum. It’s him or me.” He exploded in an uncharacteristic fit of teenage outburst.   
“I’m so sorry Sev, I really am.” Tobias said from the top of the stairs. Severus looked at him with contempt.   
“I’ve let you and your mother down. I’m trying to make this right; I want us to work. I love you both very much.” His father said with a stricken expression. That was the last nail to the coffin.   
“You have to decide mother. I won’t stay if he does.” He said with his most serious voice which didn’t exactly work when your voice hadn’t fully changed and you were still shorter than your father.   
“She doesn’t have to choose son. I’ll go if so you wish.” Tobias said with a defeated voice.  
His mother paled and drew her wand. “You’ll do no such thing.” She waved her wand around him and Severus felt magic envelop him.   
“What did you do mother?” He almost yelled at her.   
“Don’t speak to your mum with that tone young man.” His father admonished. How dared he play father? He who left, he wanted to say so but his mother answered.   
“A simple, yet ancient spell, you’ll find yourself back home by midnight.” She said and smirked.  
“Finite Incatatem.” He said quickly.   
“Son, I expected better than that. This is a blood spell; you won’t undo it. Only the caster can terminate it.” She had that glint on her eyes, the determination he had inherited from her.   
Tobias didn’t say anything. He stood behind her. Severus felt the irrational urge to yell and kick something. He glared at both of them and left the house. “Severus please we have to finish this. Where are you going?” His father said with a firm voice.   
“Out” was his reply. He left for the playground, that place soothed him.  
He went straight for the swings. He was glad when a familiar redhead swung next to him. Maybe she had more information about this bizarre situation.   
“Tunney says he’s been back since October. He’s working at the supermarket.” She said softly.   
“I knew that.” He said forcefully. He was enraged, his father often elicited that reaction from him.  
“I just wanted to help.” Lils answered a little hurt by his attitude. He didn’t apologize, he was tired of apologizing. He wanted to be angry, to not always be apologetic. He wanted to be petty. He wanted to hit something, maybe it would be satisfactory if he set fire on that patch of overgrown grass by the slide.  
“He seemed sober.” Lily tried to sound hopeful  
He snorted derisively, “Let’s see how long it lasts this time. I wager that by the end of this week he’ll be at a bar drinking what little money he made. He can’t be back. I don’t understand why she would take him back. He’s toxic for her doesn’t she understand?”  
Lily grabbed his hand. “Maybe he deserves a second chance.”  
Was she serious? “Lils don’t defend him. He’s nothing but a drunkard who will end up hurting her. She is so foolish; she had the gall to tell me she’s in love with him.”  
His best friend stood up in front of him. He looked up to her. “We can’t help who we love. Severus. It just happens, you don’t expect it. You think you know someone and suddenly you look at them and think. “He’s not the same. I’m in the wrong. He’s not arrogant, he’s confident. He’s not mean, he cares and it changes everything.” She had that look in her face, the same smile she had whenever she spoke of Potter. This was shaping to be the worst day he’d had in this reality. She was already in love with Potter; the knowledge hurt him like a dull wound. It wakened his baser instinct, punching a tree didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5   
“When do you have to go back?” They were lying on the grass, the sun blinding them; he liked the heat around his face. Thankfully it hadn’t snowed yet so this was still possible. Lily asked him again.   
“Midnight, mother put a spell on me.” He ground out, still furious with her and Tobias for making his life miserable once again.   
Lily sat up and pulled him. “We could go to the ice cream parlor. Vernon works there. I’m sure he’ll get us in for free.” She said cheerfully.  
Severus remembered the oafish blond and declined, “I rather not.” He said with a sullen tone. He ruminated; it was in his nature; he wouldn’t let his worries go until he was absolutely spent.   
She sighed, “Well I won’t stay here all day. This is our first day back from school. We should do something.”   
Severus frowned, “Go back home if you’d like. I need to make mum understand that he’s bad news.” He said more to himself than anyone else.  
She punched him in the arm. Severus opened his eyes and glared at her. “What the bloody hell is wrong with you. That hurt.” He hissed.  
“You stop right now. You can’t do anything today. You’ll think of something tomorrow. Now, let’s go to the theater. I just got my allowance and I want to watch that film I told you about.” She didn’t take no for an answer and pulled him up. Of course she couldn’t, she wasn’t strong enough. “Don’t be a child Sev.” She huffed, her face was flushed and she frowned comically.  
“Fine, but don’t expect me to like it or discuss it with you.” He replied petulantly. She smiled and hugged him. She was a hugger and he didn’t protest. They walked hand in hand to the theater. They ended up watching Monty Python again. She laughed and he forgot about his parents like he always did when he was around her for more than forty minutes. He laughed too and soon they were walking to a pizza shop. He felt bad that she had to pay for everything. He decided to get a summer job. He wouldn’t depend on his mother or Lily for things anymore. They ate and laughed, after the food they walked around town and visited a music store. They spent hours listening to records and catching up with their favorite artists. Severus enjoyed himself; he had forgotten how much he loved Led Zeppelin. It was getting late, well to Lily’s standards. She had to be home by 8:00 for dinner.   
He was heading for the park he would not go back to Spinner’s End until it was absolutely necessary. “Have dinner with me. My parents would love to have you.” He doubted that statement but it was better than staying alone in the park.   
Severus followed Lily who tried to warn him about Petunia. “Please be nice to her, don’t antagonize her.” She said pleadingly. Severus remembered the tense dinners at her home. Petunia outright hated him while her parents didn’t know how to treat him. They felt pity for him or so he thought.   
They made it inside. “Severus dear how great to have you.” Mrs. Evans said as she set the table. Petunia looked at him with the usual disdain.   
Mr. Evans smiled lightly at him. They had pot roast and a side of roasted potatoes. Mrs. Evans was an excellent cook. Mr. Evans asked about their school work and the new term. Petunia was as sullen as possible. Mrs. Evans and Lily tried to join in the conversation whenever possible.  
Eventually it was obvious that he couldn’t remain in the Evans household anymore. He had overstayed his welcome. They were watching the telly, watching Doctor Who. Petunia taped the episodes for Lily. His best friend had been so touched by that, he remembered how difficult it was to do that in 1970. “Tunney, come and watch with us.” Lils said excitedly. Petunia almost didn’t but Lils convinced her with a smile. “Only because it’s almost Christmas but I’m not sitting next to him.” As if he would want to sit anywhere near Petunia, they sat down and started watching the show. At first Petunia didn’t want to enjoy herself but it was obvious that she liked the show too. Lily asked all the questions and Petunia answered her dutifully.   
They were in the living room watching a third episode when Harry Evans turned on the lights. “Severus lad, I think is time for you to go home. It’s almost midnight.” Severus blinked and watched the grandfather clock. The older man was right it was 11:58.   
“I’m sorry sir. I apologize, time just flew by.” He stood up and made for the door. Lily stood up too. “You’re going to say goodbye?” Lily hugged him. She hugged him whenever she could. He didn’t remember her being so tactile with him. He was about to say something when he felt a pull, like dissaparating. He blinked and was inside Spinner’s End. He turned to see his father in the couch.   
“Your mother is asleep. I wanted to have a word with you.” Tobias said, his eyes pleading.   
He ignored him and walked up the steps. He didn’t want to speak with him or even look at him. He wanted Tobias gone, just like he had been for the last twenty-five years. He went to sleep with a headache.   
The next morning, he woke up by his mum rapping on the door. “Severus, wake up. It’s Christmas.” He growled, “Go away mother.” He said with an unpleasant voice.   
“Get dressed Severus. Don’t make me get in there and drag you out.” She said in a shrill tone. Severus wanted to defy her, have her inside his room and confront her once and for all.   
He stood up however. He marched into the restroom and washed his face. He brushed his teeth before heading downstairs. He noticed the improvements in the house. The bathroom looked clean and the pipes were working without him having to magic them. He rubbed his eyes and went downstairs.   
Severus didn’t say a word and went straight for the fridge. “No need for that dear. I made breakfast.” Mum pushed him to a chair. He didn’t say a word to her.   
“Could you at least try? I know it’s hard for you to speak to Tobias but he’s your dad and he cares about us.” She sat in front of him and tried to make eye. Severus ignored her and buttered his toast.   
“Is that how it is then? You are giving us the silent treatment. Do as you please Severus Tobias Snape but your petulant attitude will not change the irrefutable fact that your father is back. You will treat him with the respect that he deserves.”  
Severus snapped, his anger could not be contained anymore. “He does not deserve anything. He left us. Did you forget about that? Did you forget how much you cried? He doesn’t care about us mum. He’ll go back to his bloody bottle just like he always does.”   
Tobias entered the room. “Severus that is enough” his father was taller, stronger and his eyes conveyed his message perfectly. Severus was to quiet down and listen. He didn’t want to do so.   
He lashed out, “You have no right to be here. You left and we were better without you.” Severus made for the door but Eileen blocked the door with a spell. He was supposed not to undo the easy spell on the door. He wasn’t supposed to do magic outside of Hogwarts but he knew that since mum was registered as a witch the ministry wouldn’t track magical use at Spinner’s End. He was so agitated he forgot to use retrieve his wand. He turned his hand and the door flew open. He left the house. “Severus you get back here right now.” His mother yelled. He walked briskly, furious with her.   
In his haste to leave the house he forgot to put on a coat. The cold morning air hit his face, he wouldn’t go back and practicing magic would certainly bring the ministry down on him. The thin black shirt and the grey pants didn’t protect him from the chilly air. He marched down to Lil’s house. Lily’s room was in the second floor, there was a tree by her window. Severus had climbed that tree many times when he was younger. He hoped he still could. He was still getting used to having an agile body. He opened the window and marveled at how easy it was to trespass. This was perhaps why the Evans were so easily murdered. He remembered the Dark Lord ordering the attack.   
He dusted some of the snow off of his shoulders and hair. Lily wasn’t in the room; surely she was downstairs opening gifts with her family. He looked around her bedroom. The memories assaulted him. They spent many afternoons playing, drawing and giggling about Hogwarts. He was sure he would finally be happy there; that once he became a wizard Dad would love him back. Severus thought that once Dad knew about how special he was he would be his daddy again. The one that took him to football matches and played with him. He never realized that Tobias pulled away from him when he showed signs of being magical. He lost his job when he was nine and became a drunk when he was ten. Ever since then Severus and Eileen were a nuisance to him.   
Severus’s anger increased by the second, he wanted to yell at Tobias and hurt him. He paced in the room. He stopped and hid behind the door. “Yes mum, let me change clothes first.” Lily said and entered the room. She was about to pull her tank top up when Severus stopped her. He could see the white creamy skin of her belly. “Lils stop.” He hissed. Her eyes opened and she closed the door quickly.   
“What are you doing here?” She hissed back, she flushed and pulled her tank down.  
“Eyes up Snape.” Her tone a little hard.  
Severus looked away embarrassedly. “Sorry Lils”   
“Why are you here?” She asked and sat on the bed. She patted the space next to her. He sat next to her and sighed, “I had a fight with mum.” He said sullenly.  
“Did your dad do something?” She asked tentatively and clasped his hand.  
“No, but before you go and defend him like you always do, he’s not supposed to be back.” Severus said angrily.   
Lily nodded. She remained surprisingly quiet. He liked that, she just patted his hand.   
“Lily, we’re leaving in five minutes.” Petunia knocked on the door properly.  
“I’m not going. I don’t feel well Tunney.” She said quickly.  
“Fine, but don’t complain when we don’t buy anything for you.” Petunia said petulantly.   
“You should go.” He didn’t want her to miss out on whatever the Evans were doing.   
She smiled and shook her head, “It’s just a shopping trip, besides I’m not leaving you here.”  
“Sweetheart, are you sure you don’t want to come along? Open the door, maybe we should take you to the doctor.” Mr. Evans turned the knob and for a second he was scared but the door didn’t open.  
“I’m fine daddy. I have a headache; it’s my time of the month.” Severus blushed and looked away from her smiling face.   
Mr. Evans stuttered something until they both heard the doors shut. “What should we do now?” She asked him.  
“I’m hungry.” He replied   
They ate breakfast, or well he did since Lily had her fill earlier. “Want to watch Doctor Who again?” He shrugged, better than talking about his dad. He knew she would want to. Lily always wanted to talk about feelings and all that sentimental rubbish.  
They settled in the couch, soon they were immersed in the show. By the fifth episode Lily wanted to lie down. Severus remained seated but it was uncomfortable for her to not stretch her legs. “Lie down too.” She simply pulled him down. They used to do that when they were kids but it was different now. He didn’t know if his hormonal teenage body would withstand such close proximity with her.   
He occluded and it helped him with his desires, it also made his sleepy. He closed his eyes and smelled her red hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
“What in the bloody hell is this?” She opened her eyes and looked up at her daddy. He never swore in front of her or Tunney. She blinked and noticed the heavy pale arm around her waist and the leg over her hip. She blushed immediately; she could feel something poking at her rear. Sev tightened his hold on her apparently still sleeping.  
“Sev Get up,” she shook him. He mumbled something and opened his eyes. He looked just as surprised as she felt.   
Lily took in her mum and Tunney by the door holding packages. “I demand an explanation. Is this why you wanted to stay back? So you could bring a boy into the house. I’m deeply disappointed Lily.” His voice was hard.  
“I’m sorry sir. I didn’t have anywhere else to go and came to Lils. I didn’t mean to cause any problems.” Severus replied.  
“Sweetheart, Eileen and Tobias must be beside themselves. I’ll call them right now.” Mum hurried to the phone.  
“I thought you didn’t have a phone.” She whispered to Sev. Her dad still ranted while Tunney watched with relish.  
“We don’t have one.” Severus said with a hint of annoyance.   
“Hi Eileen, yes Severus is here. Of course he won’t go anywhere.” Mum hung up and tried to calm dad.   
“Your father is on his way here. Your parents were very worried, and with reason Severus. You can’t walk out and not say anything.” Mum admonished her best friend.   
Severus looked ready to snap. Dad looked at Severus as if he wanted to kill him. Lily rolled her eyes. They were just cuddling in the couch.   
Tobias Snape knocked on the door ten minutes later. Tunney let him in, “Good afternoon.” He looked embarrassed and then looked at Severus who looked back defiantly. Lily feared for Severus, he knew that her best friend had a temper and was impulsive.  
“Tunney, go to your room. I need to speak with Mr. Snape about his son’s behavior.” Lily grabbed Sev’s hand and tried to go to her room.   
“Not so fast young lady. You and that boy stay here.” She didn’t like his tone but didn’t say anything.  
Petunia and mum went to the kitchen, her sister smirked before her mother ushered her out of the room.  
“Tobias, I found your son groping my daughter in this couch.” Lily frowned, Sev frowned too.   
“No he wasn’t. We fell asleep; we’ve done so many times.” Sev cringed and so did Tobias. Dad’s face acquired an angry red color.  
“Sir, I assure you I didn’t mean anything by it. We fell asleep as Lils said.” Severus said hastily.  
“Harry, I apologize for my son’s behavior. He’ll be punished once his mother learns about this.” Tobias said calmly.  
“Lily you are grounded until you go back to school. No late visits, Severus I don’t want you climbing that tree by her window.” Lily was about to protest. This was supposed to be their time together. Severus was hers during the breaks; she didn’t see him as much at school.  
“Daddy you can’t do that. Sev and I, we have a big school project.” She lied through her teeth.  
“Fine, he can come here but only in the afternoon and your sister has to watch you.” She could feel Sev fuming next to her.   
“Severus your mother is expecting us.” Tobias said with a firm voice.   
Lily looked at Sev who glared at his dad. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hugged him.  
“Off you go.” Dad basically pushed Severus out the door. He was very rude. Mr. Snape didn’t say anything else and glared at Sev.  
She glared at her dad and went to her room without saying a word. Lily wondered what would happen to him. She didn’t know Tobias Snape that much; he had always been at the pub or work. Sev didn’t like to talk too much about him anymore. It had been easier when they were little. He told her everything and they were best friends and confidantes. Lily longed to have that simplicity again. She was confused, she felt as if she had her Sev back sometimes but it wasn’t the same Sev. Ever since that trip to Hogsmeade he had been a little different, courteous but cautious. Her black haired friend had always been reserved and quiet but this Sev was mature. He didn’t care about Potter and Black anymore. He hadn’t even asked if they had gone out during the last full moon. Something happened to him and Lily was glad. A part of her had always loved Severus and it was becoming increasingly hard to fool herself, a year ago she had been sure he liked her too but now she didn’t know. They had kissed and he had remained quiet, passive, as if he didn’t want them to be together. Lily obsessed over little details now. She didn’t want to lose her dearest friend.   
Maybe Severus didn’t want her as a girlfriend. She wanted to ask someone, she couldn’t tell mum, it would be awkward to ask her. She could ask Tunney maybe, she had a boyfriend even if it was that Vernon oaf. Her sister didn’t like her much, they didn’t see eye to eye in many things but surely Tunney would help, she loved gossip like this.   
She came out of her bedroom and into the kitchen. Her mum and sister were making dinner. “Your father went to his shed.” Mum said with a frown.   
Lily remained quiet, “I don’t want Severus visiting when we aren’t here.” Her mother said with a steely voice.  
She looked at her mum, “Why? Sev is my best friend, besides he’s always visited.” She shrugged her shoulders.   
“He’s not a boy anymore, it’s not proper.” Lil blushed; she couldn’t argue that, she’d seen the changes too. Her friend was now taller than her, his hands were graceful and his voice had nothing left of his childish tone. His voice was deep and silky. She stopped her musings and remembered what she came for. “Tunney, I need to ask you something.” She didn’t wait for the usual rebuke and sneer. She grabbed her hand and dragged Petunia to her room.   
“Lily, I was learning a recipe for Vernon.” She said annoyed at being manhandled.   
Lily rolled her eyes, “I have a question.” Petunia looked at her suspiciously and with a huff sat down in the bed. Lily knew she loved this; her older sister loved giving advice. It made her feel important.  
“I like a boy from school. We kissed about three months ago but he hasn’t said anything. What should I do?”  
Tunney frowned, “is he from normal parents or…?” Lily didn’t think it mattered but she answered either way, “He’s half and half.” It looked as if Tunney knew it was Sev.  
She didn’t need Tunney’s meddling. She despised Severus. She was rethinking this, “his dad is magical but his mum is a muggle.”  
Petunia relaxed a little. “You should wait Lily. Did he kiss you or did you?”  
Lily flushed, “I did, he was so close and I…”  
Her sister frowned, “you never, ever kiss a guy first. You have to wait.”  
Lily deflated, but in a rare show of affection Tunney patted her hand. “Don’t feel bad. This is what you’re going to do. You wait for him to say something, be nice but don’t overwhelm him. You have to make him notice you.”  
Lily blinked, “How do I do that?”   
Petunia laughed good naturedly, “You’re very pretty Lily, wear a little make up, not too much you don’t need it.” She sounded a little sad.   
“Tunney, what if it doesn’t work?” Lily didn’t think Sev would care if she wore mascara or lipstick.  
“Let’s try that first. What do you want Lily? Do you want him to be your boyfriend?” She asked tentatively.   
“I don’t know, we share all classes and he’s a good friend what if it’s awkward.” Petunia shook her head.  
“I’m sure you have more friends and you always have that Snape boy.” She said with a little sneer.  
Lily frowned. “Sev’s alright. Why do you hate him so much?”  
Petunia primly stood up, “I don’t hate him, he’s just beneath us.” She left the room. Lily didn’t want to argue with Tunney. After all she had tried to give her advice, did she want Severus to be her boyfriend? She didn’t know but they were friends that had to be good enough. She shrugged. Tunney said to wait. She could do that; maybe Severus didn’t like her that way. She couldn’t destroy their friendship.


	7. Chapter 7

They walked home, Severus ahead of his father because he couldn’t stand the sight of him. He didn’t want to hear his reprimands or even his so called good advice. The drunk had the gall to try and talk to him. Severus merely glared at his father and increased his pace.   
He opened the door with a single flick of his fingers. His mother should know better than to use such feeble wards. Eileen Snape was waiting by the kitchen table. He glanced at her and then attempted to climb the stairs up to his room. “Severus Tobias Snape.” He didn’t listen and tried to move up. Eileen petrified him with her wand. He stood immobile for about two minutes, until his father made his way inside their home.   
“Is that really necessary Eileen?” Tobias shook some snow out of his coat. He hated the sound of his voice and the fact that he came to his defense.   
“Perhaps you are correct Tobias.” She flicked her wand. He was fuming, “You can’t do that.”  
Eileen put a hand up and he became silent, “I don’t have to listen to you young man.” Severus glared and tried to speak or undo the charm but he couldn’t. He felt as petulant as his old fifteen-year-old self.   
“What is the meaning of this? You have a home Severus, we were scared, didn’t know where you were. Your father even went to the hospital.” Severus rolled his eyes; if she was so worried about him she could have easily used a locator spell.   
“Don’t roll your eyes at your mother.” Tobias sat in front of him. Eileen sat next to her husband. “Severus, please try to understand.” His mother said in one of her softest tones, once she only used when he was little and couldn’t understand why daddy didn’t like it when he made things fly. The memory of his earlier years made him even angrier. He stood up and tried to get up to his room again. The silence spell would wear off in a couple of hours at most. He didn’t have to remain here and listen to her ravings.   
He was ready for her when she tried a sticking charm on him. He blocked it with a hand, he knew the moment he saw his mother’s eyes that it had been a bad idea. Fifth years didn’t know wandless or silent blocking charms.   
“Tobias, he’s not our boy.” Eileen said with a tremulous voice. He didn’t expect his father to physically restrain him.   
He was back at the chair; his mother pointed her wand at him. “Revelio.” Nothing happened, because he was in fact Severus Snape. This time her brow quirked, she dissolved the spell. “Who are you?”  
He was calm and kept collected. He thanked the gods that his mother didn’t know legilemency. It wouldn’t do well for his mother to be suspicious of his identity. “Severus Snape; and unfortunately your son.” He sneered.  
“You will mind your tongue son. Don’t speak to your mother in that way.” Tobias said with an edge.  
“Look at him, of course he’s our boy.” Tobias said while looking at his wife.  
“Where did you learn to block spells?” Eileen asked suspiciously.  
“School, I go there for a reason.” Severus looked at her defiantly. His mother was smart and skilled but not a threat to him.

“Fifth years don’t block spells wandlessly or silently.” Eileen remarked suspiciously, a true Slytherin.   
“He’s always been smart love. Our boy likes to read, he probably read somewhere in one of those books of yours.” Tobias tried to be the voice of reason. Tobias was trying to get into his good graces. Did he think him stupid? Did he think that he could undo years of neglect and abuse with a few words? Severus remained silent waiting for things to unravel.   
“Eileen could you please let us have a few words?” The man that was his father asked politely, so unlike him. His mother nodded and pressed her husband’s hand as she went upstairs.   
“Severus I want to apologize again. I know this is hard son but I want us to be a family again.” He looked back at dark brown eyes, so much like his own. He used legilimency on his father. He saw snippets of his drunken life, whores, bars, dirty allies, and wrong decisions. Severus also saw that he wasn’t lying, he was going to school at night and had stopped drinking for about a year now.   
“I remember when you were born. Your mother and I were so happy. You came into the world yelling, making yourself known. I couldn’t believe that someone so small could wail so loud.” His father said with a small smile.  
“Spare me the theatrics Tobias. You and I know that you don’t give a bloody fuck about my mother or me. You are lying filth, in less than five months you’ll go back to your bottle just like you always do. This is nothing but another pitiful attempt on your part.” The young man spat full of disdain.   
His father looked as if he had struck him, it gave Severus some satisfaction to see this man hurt. Severus wanted to see the anger, the loathing and misery back in those brown eyes. He could deal with those, he remembered well. He recalled all the angry looks, the disdain, and worst of all the neglect.  
“Son, I know I hurt you, please forgive me. All I ask is for a second chance to make things right. I have been sober Sev, almost a year on January 9th, your birthday.” Tobias said with an edge to his voice.   
“Don’t call me that.” Severus hissed, Lily, only Lily and mum could call him that.   
“Last year, I was at a pub and I remembered it was your birthday son. I realized I couldn’t tell how old you were. I went to a place where they help people like me. I stayed there for a month.” Tobias said trying to connect with him.  
“I don’t care. I don’t want to know, what you do with your excuse of a life is nothing of my concern.” Severus replied, he wished he could get up and leave but his mother made that impossible.   
“I want to tell you. I want you to understand why I came back Severus.” Tobias continued with his tale.   
“I stopped drinking, I tried to come back to you before you left for your school but I couldn’t face you son. I sent money for you and Eileen and then I couldn’t resist it anymore. I love your mother, she’s the only woman I’ve ever loved.”  
He laughed, “Wonderful then, she’s lucky that you love her. I can’t imagine how you would treat her if you hated her.” In another life Severus would have stayed quiet, occluding but all the rage was back. He felt like his old teenage self, angry, cheated and finally his target was there. For years he imagined walking up to Tobias Snape and hitting the life out of him.   
“Don’t think Eileen welcomed me back as if nothing happened. I dated her again and we fell in love again. We talk now, when I was in the place a nice older man told me to speak with him whenever I wanted to drink. I speak with him every week. He advises me, he knows that your mother is a witch. He’s been helping me get through things.” That have him some pause, Tobias never called mum a witch, he hated the word, hated what they were.   
“I don’t really care for your tales at all Tobias.” He said coldly and then called out for Eileen. “Mother, I would like for you to release me from the charm.”   
“Severus I’m trying and I would like for you to try too. It’s not too late son, we can be happy, like before.” Tobias wheedled.   
Before, before he learned that he was magical and that mum was a witch. Severus could scarcely remember what that was like. “Do you remember when I used to take you to he football matches? You loved that; remember. I have tickets for their match. We could go…”  
Severus remembered, he remembered going to the field and watching ManU play. He must have been five or six years old. He remembered Tobias cheering, laughter and fish and chips. He also remembered the look of pure fear and then hatred a few weeks later when he made mum’s plants fly. He remembered his mother crying and Tobias storming out. He remembered the smell of alcohol, the insults, and how much it hurt when Tobias didn’t play with him anymore. He asked mum why daddy didn’t like him anymore and Eileen would burst into tears.   
The young wizard looked up. “I remember you calling my mother a lying whore. Do you remember father? Do you remember the time I tried to hug you when I got my letter to Hogwarts and you pushed me and told me that I was unnatural? Because I remember that, how about when you walked out and almost hit mum? I remember that too. That’s what I remember, all I remember.  
Tobias’s face was lined with anguish; suddenly he was able to move. Severus went upstairs and slammed the door. He didn’t place any charms it wouldn’t do for mum to feed her paranoid mind when it came to him.   
He closed his eyes and occluded for the rest of the night. He thought of Lily, she was always his last thought at night, she had been so for years and would remain so.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
It was time to go back to Hogwarts; Severus couldn’t be happier. He couldn’t resist one more day in Spinner’s End. The morning after Tobias and him had their talk mum waited for him with a cup of tea. He went straight to the cupboards and got some cereal. He stayed as long as he could inside his room but he was always hungry now. He decided to ignore his parents. They couldn’t force him to speak to them.   
“Your father left very early today.” His mother tried to make some conversation.   
Severus remained stoically quiet. After a few minutes of eating Eileen continued with her tirade. “I heard you yesterday.” He glared at her; his mother had a bad habit of listening behind doors and walls.   
“You shouldn’t have.” He gritted, she always got under his skin.   
“Your father has made a lot of mistakes. I want you to understand that I’m not trying to make excuses for him.”  
“Then don’t. He doesn’t deserve you, he’ll go back to drinking.” Severus pleaded once more.   
His mother shook her head, “This time is different.” He tried to stand up but Eileen grabbed his hand. “Your father is sorry. He’s trying to turn his life around and want to make things up to us.”  
“How can you believe him? You are such a fool.” Severus said calmly, his tone belied his rage.  
“I won’t allow you to speak to me that way. I am your mother Severus Snape, don’t forget your place.” Eileen said haughtily.   
“I apologize mother.” He said forlornly.   
“We Princes are not trusting people. I was very wary at first. I used veritaserum, I’m not proud of it.” She said immediately after she saw him smirk.   
“He’s not lying. He’s hurt us Severus but I have hurt him as well.” He snorted.   
Eileen looked at him sadly, “I have. I lied, when I met your father I was taken by him. He was so strong and gentle at the same time. I have never been pretty but your father makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I invented a life, lies upon lies.” She said bitterly.  
“We married and I gave up magic but it was all worth it. We were so happy, he loved us so much. He loves me and you because of who we are, not because we are purebloods or can do magic. I was so happy but terrified when you started displaying your magic.” She shed some tears then.   
“When you made that geranium fly in front of your father, that was the worst day of my life. Your father became a different man a despicable being that I didn’t know. I hurt him, I broke him too; it’s not an excuse for his behavior I just want you to realize that the only person blameless here is you.” She stood up and left him with his thoughts.   
He didn’t think about Tobias’s pains or struggles. His pain was more important, he dressed and left for Lils’s house after that. He spent the next two weeks ignoring his parents. Tobias didn’t entirely give up his tries to make them a family again but his approaches were subtler. He left home by midmorning and came back at 11:59 every night. His mother looked at him with reproach in her eyes but didn’t dissuade him. Tobias drove them to King’s Cross.   
“Please don’t forget to write.” He let her hug and kiss him goodbye. Tobias offered his hand Eileen looked at her son with pleading eyes. Severus felt some guilt and acquiesced, he shook his father’s hand and left immediately.   
He boarded the train and looked for Lils as soon as he stepped inside the Express. She was alone in their compartment. “I saw your parents outside the wall.” She said with probing eyes.  
He didn’t say anything. “Maybe you should listen to your mum and write to your dad.” She said hesitantly and lowered her book.  
“Not this again, I don’t want to speak about it.” He grumbled and took the book from her hands. They were quiet until they reached Hogsmeade.   
It was late at night; all students were to report to their dorms without delay. He went to sleep that night thinking of how happy he was to be away from Tobias.   
Soon it was his birthday, Narcissa and Magnolia kissed him and gave him presents. Lucius sent a formal invitation to meet a mutual friend. Severus declined; he tried to persuade Regulus to do the same.  
“Maybe we are not ready for this Black. You should research this man some more.” Severus said while breakfasting in the Great Hall.  
“I have made my decision.” Black said coldly.   
“Reconsider Reg, this isn’t a good idea. This Dark Lord is very dangerous. You wouldn’t want to be involved in something like this.”  
Black glared at him, “I know who your father is. You’ve gone soft Snape; the Dark Lord wouldn’t want scum like you within the ranks. I’ll owl Lucius, Cissy shouldn’t be with people like you.” The fourth year left the Great Hall trailing after Mulciber, Yaxley and Nott.  
Severus shook his head, he tried but nothing he said or did swayed the younger man. “You shouldn’t speak of such things here. This isn’t the appropriate place.” Narcissa hissed and squeezed his hand. Poor Cissy she was in too deep, she truly loved Lucius and wouldn’t give him up. Magnolia switched the conversation, “So birthday boy, what do you want to do for your birthday?” The girl smiled coquettishly.   
“I have plans with someone.” He said after he wiped his mouth. He couldn’t say he was going to Hogsmeade with Lily.   
“She’s not good enough for you.” Magnolia said primly, “The mudblood is beneath you.”   
“Don’t call her that.” He said for the umpteenth time. Sometimes he forgot that during the seventies people used the term more freely.   
“Well, happy birthday Sev.” Cissy kissed his cheek and left the Great Hall. Magnolia left shortly after. He finished his breakfast but there was no sight of Lils yet. He decided to go to the library and wait for her as they had agreed. He sat in the corner that he liked, it was becoming increasingly harder to mingle with his fellow Slytherins. His dorm mates didn’t take too well his continued contact with Lily. They hadn’t done anything to Lily or him yet. Most of them knew that he wasn’t an easy target. They needed him for either tutoring or homework. He would let bygones by bygones and not intervene in any of their activities as long as they let him be.   
He wrote something in his potion’s book when he felt someone next to him. He smiled, “You’re early.” He looked up and saw that it wasn’t Lils. She was a Ravenclaw girl, pretty brown wavy hair, she had mismatched eyes; left one was brown and a right green eye. “Hi.” She said and smiled prettily. He couldn’t remember her very well.  
“Sorry I thought you were someone else.” Severus said quietly.  
“I know, you thought I was Evans.” He nodded. “Happy Birthday Severus.” She said with a big white smile.   
He was puzzled beyond belief. He didn’t remember this slip of a girl being his friend. “You don’t know who I am do you?” She asked with downcast eyes.   
Severus felt bad and tried to remember her from his life here. They had charms together. He recalled her but couldn’t think of a name. “Marlene Mckinnon.” She stretched her hand to him. He took it and shook it.   
“So what are you reading?” She asked lightly. Severus didn’t have a lot of friends and didn’t remember having someone other than Magnolia and Cissy ever paying attention to him.  
“I have an Arithmancy test on Monday.” He replied cautiously, maybe this girl needed his help.   
“Oh, I can help you. My mum has lots of books like this. She taught me how to read them.” She opened the book and helped him solve some of the theorems. She sat really close to him and smiled at him for no reason. He was a little uncomfortable; he could feel her leg against his. She giggled when he thanked her. “How did you solve that one?” She explained the problem.   
“Maybe I could help you with more questions if you like.” She stated.  
He was about to decline when Lily dropped in front of her. Marlene smiled, the same big white smile she offered him “Oh, hi Evans.”  
“Hi,” She looked at Severus with questioning eyes.   
“Marlene was just helping me with Arithmancy.” The mismatched eyed girl nodded.   
“I’ll see you Monday Severus.” She stood up and kissed his cheek. “Bye Evans.” She said and she skipped out of the library.  
Lily took his hand, “come on, we have to go. I have everything ready Sev.” He noted that her face wasn’t the same happy face but it only lasted until they left the library She was back to her bubbly self by the time they left the castle.  
“Come on Sev, we’re going to have so much fun.” She laughed and he couldn’t help but laugh alongside her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Lily took him to the Shrieking Shack, inside of it. They had been warned that they couldn’t be seen near the place because of the terrible ghosts and other things that plagued the place. Lily didn’t exactly believe all those tales about the place and prepared a wonderful dinner for them. Well the house elves prepared it for her. She set everything up before meeting with Sev in the library. She didn’t expect him to be with the Ravenclaw girl. Lily didn’t like the way Marlene looked at him at all. She was glad when Severus explained their involvement. She had a surprise for her best friend. She managed to secure a portkey after begging Alice to ask Frank for one. She had to do Alice’s transfiguration work for about three weeks but it didn’t matter. Sev would get the surprise of his life.   
“Where are you taking me Lils?” He tried to grumble but she knew he was excited about today.   
She was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t put any objections to going inside the Shrieking Shack. However, he squeezed her hand painfully before entering. “Relax Sev. This place isn’t haunted.” She smiled winningly at him. Sev nodded but he was tense. He watched the place with fear, as if remembering something that happened. When she asked he shook his head. “Nothing, I just thought this house would be scarier.”  
“I’m telling you, this place is just an old abandoned house.” She pulled him upstairs to a room she liked.   
The dinner was set. The elves had outdone themselves; they had made all of Sev’s favorite dishes. They had even found the triple chocolate cake he loved. He ate happily, for someone so skinny Sev could eat a lot. He savored the food and spoke about the Led Zeppelin concert in Dublin. “They should be starting now as we speak.” They were in a sofa, side by side.  
Lily smiled gleefully, “Come on, we’re going to be late.” Sev looked as if she was stoned. She grabbed his hand and then the book.   
They were in the middle of the crowd. “What?” He yelled and held her close. Lil felt a thrill running through her. She could feel his breath coming out in puffs. “You’ve talked about this concert since November. I thought it would be nice.” She giggled when he kissed her cheek sloppily. “How?” He asked with a huge smile.  
“It doesn’t matter. Happy birthday Sev.” She hugged him and they waited as the band came out. It was amazing. Lil felt how happy he was.   
He was the happiest she had seen him in months. This past Christmas break had been hard on him. Sev didn’t want to talk about Mr. Snape but she knew he hurt a lot. She wanted to make him happy, to know that she cared about him. This concert was the perfect gesture and she got to be with him. They were alone, there were no parents, no school, no houses just them. They were just Lil and Sev, best friends, and Led Zeppelin fans. They sang together and even drank some beard a man offered them.   
They made it back to Hogsmeade just before 11:00 PM. They were still singing badly, neither could be called great singers but they were happy and it was good to see him acting like a teenager for a change. He hugged her goodnight, “thanks Lils.” Lily felt her whole body tingle when his hands rubbed her back. She would kiss him tonight. She had to, Lily had seen him and Marlene in the library and it stirred some feelings inside of her. Severus stepped back and she could see his brown eyes on her. She was seconds away from his mouth. She touched her lips to his, she heard him gasp. This was wrong, he didn’t want to kiss her but then he did. He kissed her gently, and she kissed back. She liked his kisses. He kissed her as if she was a miracle. Lily wanted to deepen the kiss, take him to the Room of Requirement and kiss him all night long. They kissed until they heard Peeves whistling. “Happy Birthday Sev.” She kissed him one last time, this time on the corner of his mouth and left him in the corridor before climbing to her tower.  
Lily Evans was befuddled; true she didn’t have much experience dating but by now Severus would have made his move. Her birthday passed, Severus gave her a beautiful quill set and empty journals. They spent their day in the Room of Requirement talking, listening to music. She expected something out of him, it had been almost three weeks since their last kiss and he hadn’t done anything yet. Petunia had told her that boys were supposed to make the first move or they were just not interested. She was beginning to think Severus wasn’t interested when he kissed her for her birthday. As their previous kisses, this one was sweet, deep and full of promise. He whispered happy birthday and left her in her tower.  
She was in her dorm with Alice. “I don’t understand. He has not asked me to be his girlfriend yet.”   
Alice looked conflicted, “I saw him and Marlene in the library. They were really close together.”  
Lily didn’t sleep well that night. She knew about the Ravenclaw girl and it bothered her more than she wanted to admit. For years Lily had been his only friend. When they started Hogwarts she was his only friend until Magnolia and Narcissa took him under their wind. She was willing to share him with them because they didn’t really care for him. Marlene sought him. Lily thought the girl only wanted to be around Sev because she needed something but it was obvious that she wanted to be friends with Sev. He looked uncomfortable most of the times but recently she noticed that he smiled at Marlene and whenever he was not with her he was with the Ravenclaw girl.  
She wasn’t the only who noticed that strange friendship. The marauders, especially Sirius was against it. “What is Snivellus doing with McKinnon?” They were in the common room. Potter and Remus were by her side doing homework while Alice practiced charms on Pettigrew.   
Potter shrugged, he was trying to get her attention once more. He asked her out three times already and she had refused him nicely. He was still a toerag in her eyes, Severus and them still fought every now and then. To be honest everyone was too worried about O.W.L’s they had three months to go and not half of them were ready to take them.   
“They are friends Padfoot. McKinnon is a big girl and she is very annoying.” Potter said. Lily remained quiet. Remus didn’t take part in the conversation either.  
“He put a spell on her. I asked her out on Friday night. She told me, she was studying with Snivellus.” Black was not used to girls refusing him. Lily rolled her eyes but she didn’t like the fact that Marlene would be joining their traditions. It did not help that she openly flirted with Severus. He seemed oblivious to the attention.   
She spent the next few months stressing over Severus and her friendship to him. Things changed but he still considered her his best friend. Marlene was a present reminder to Lily that she wanted more. She wanted Severus to be more than her friend but wouldn’t sacrifice their friendship. She was very conflicted when a day before their last O.W.L’s Marlene came to speak with her. That was strange since the ravenclaw girl didn’t care too much for her. She was very friendly and polite but they didn’t speak much unless Sev was between them.  
Remus tapped her shoulder; “Marlene is waiting for you outside the portrait.” He had his nose in a book about defense. Lily stood up and left the common room. She hoped Marlene was quick. She wanted to get some sleep before tomorrow morning.   
The shorter girl smiled when she met her. She grabbed her hands and pulled her out of the common room. “I need your help.”   
She shook her head, “Marlene, could this wait until tomorrow? We have our Defense O.W.L tomorrow.” She was going to give her twenty more reasons when the girl yelped excitedly. “Severus kissed me. We are together now.” Lily wanted to cry and scratch her face out at the same time.  
“That’s good news. How, how would I help you?” Lily asked quietly.  
“Yes.” She remembered, it was their tradition and now they would have to share it with Marlene.   
“Don’t go. I want to have a romantic evening with Sev. What are Sev’s favorite desserts?” Lily hated her eager face and squeaky voice.  
“Lily, you have to know you are like his sister. He told me so, he said you are like his little sister.” Marlene said with a smile. “We have to be best friends now.” She hugged her hard.  
Lily must have said something because Marlene wrote something down and disappeared with another hug. Lily remained outside with a broken heart and with Marlene’s words in her head, “A little sister. He thinks I’m his little sister.” She cried herself to sleep that night. She should have known Sev loved her as a sister. He liked Marlene better.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Marlene was a nice girl. She was intelligent, vivacious and sweet. Severus finally remembered who she was after the first two weeks in her company. Marlene had died in a death eater attack. Travers killed her after he raped her. Severus was kinder to her after he remembered that. Lily liked Marlene and they were always talking or doing something or other or so Severus thought. He did not mind the girl and since Lils did not say anything he endured some of Marlene’s silly attitudes. The girl was pushy but he was a bit glad she was there. Marlene for all her pushiness and silliness was a nice girl and served as a filter between Lily and him. Their relationship was growing into something he had no control of. There were kisses and touches that should not have happened. Severus struggled every day to not give in and snog Lily into oblivion. His resolved weakened until Marlene became their friend.

The ravenclaw girl was everywhere they were. She reined Severus in, reminded him that Lily was not meant to be his. She was supposed to fall in love with James fucking Potter and give birth to Harry. Alice Longbottom would give birth to Neville Longbottom and the prophecy would come to pass but this time it would not be him delivering it. Severus had finally managed to stay away from her prospective death eater friends. Once again he was the target of older Slytherin. He endured it and was able to subtly protect himself. Magnolia and Narcissa helped. He stayed low and only interacted with her three female friends.

He studied for his O.W.L’s the practice was not a problem but the theory and the questions were. It had been a long time since he was a student. He studied with Lily and Marlene at least fours days per week. He slipped with Lily once again on her birthday. He could not help but kiss her. He swore that it would be the last time he kissed her. He promised that he would not do it again. The next morning he behaved as if nothing happened. He hated to see the confused look Lils gave him but it was better, in the end it was better for her. Potter was still a toerag. They would never be on friendly terms but at least they all were busy with their O.W.L’s to really care about fights.

Severus received letters from her mum every week. She was happy and well. Tobias landed a job as an accountant at a law firm. He was done with his studies and was getting the experience he needed. He was fixing the house and they had a surprise of him when term ended. He could not care any less.

He was on his way to the library. Lily and Marlene had herbology or something. He did not expect to see Marlene that afternoon. She was at their table already studying. He nodded and they studied. She was quiet for most of an hour. Her silence disquieted him. Marlene was chatty, a little too chatty for his tastes. The girl reminded him of a mixture between Granger and strangely enough Lovegood. "What is it Marlene?

 

"Nothing" she replied startled.

 

He frowned, "you have stared at the same page for fifteen minutes."

 

"I want to ask you something." She batted her eyelashes.

 

"Well, go on."

 

"Not here." He never knew this girl could be so strong, in one yank he was by her side. They walked out of the library.

 

He recognized an old classroom in the eighth floor. She pulled him inside.

 

"Severus, I want us to be a couple." The boy did not have time to react. Suddenly she was kissing him, pulling him to a chair. He pulled her away.

 

She looked confused, this pretty slip of a girl was not used to being rejected. "We are friends Marlene."

 

Her mismatched eyes glowed with happiness. "I want us to be more than friends." She kissed him again. The ravenclaw was skilled. His bloody hormones betrayed him for five seconds. Lils' sad face swam in front of him. He pushed her back.

 

"Marlene, this is not right." He said hastily and managed to stand up.

 

"Do you have a girlfriend? Is it Black, Evans perhaps?"

 

"No." He said alarmed at the notion that Narcissa were considered anything but her friend. "They are my friends. Cissy is like my bloody sister."

 

"I'm glad to hear that." She smiled and hugged him. "I'll meet you tomorrow after the DADA exams. I'm so happy. I have to tell Mary. She'll never believe me." Marlene kissed him once more and left the room.

 

"Marlene wait." Severus reeled. He went after her; she couldn't possibly believe that they were anything but friends. Severus ran after her. In his experience teenage girls were dangerous. She would of course tell Lily about this.

 

He stopped immediately, his heart constricted. This was it, the solution. Lily would see him as attached. He could not deny the growing relationship he and Lily shared. Their friendship was stronger than ever. Their kisses confused him. She was not supposed to kiss him. It had to stop. He lost sight of Marlene and went back to the library. It could work. He had purposely not brought any of their kisses up. They were friends and Lily did not love him. They were friends and would remain friends. He tried to rationalize his actions but he felt that seed of betrayal. Severus once again felt like he had failed Lily.

 

The fifth years woke up early. Their exams started as soon as 8:00 AM. He glanced at the gryffindor table and found Lupin reading. Black and Potter were busily writing while the rat squirmed. No sight of Lils. He avoided the ravenclaw table. He ate quickly and went directly to the library.

 

Their examinations were grueling. Severus welcomed the distraction. He barely slept the night before. The practical took place the best part of the morning. By lunchtime he had a sandwich and went back to the Great Hall to take his written DADA exam. He focused on the questions and reviewed his writings as much as possible. He gave his parchment only when his back ached and the proctor glared at him.

 

He walked out of the castle and remembered the date. It was today, the Marauders were ahead of him muttering and laughing. He almost went back inside but it was too late. Potter already disarmed him.

 

Severus felt an old rage well inside of him. For years, this few minutes haunted him. He glared at Potter, "son of a." He repeated the words. He has reviewed this memory so many times. He could practically judge how bright the sun shone.

 

He was ready for the attack and did not think about it. He counter cursed him. It was that smug James Potter with pink bubble froth at his mouth. The young slytherin smirked.

 

Several students laughed at Potter's attempts to curse him back. Black tried to attack him. Severus wanted nothing more than to curse the mutt to oblivion but could not. It was enough that he attacked Potter wandlessly. He did not need Dumbledore or anyone else to know about his abilities. He crawled away from a hex and ducked to get his wand. Potter still frothed at the mouth but joined Black. He avoided the hexes while trying to remiain calm. He heard Lupin trying to make his friends stop. "Stop, Padfoot, Prongs. That's enough." He yelled from the sides but did not intervene physically.

 

He could see Lily approaching. "Stop it." She yelled. He was distracted because in her haste to make them stop she tried to join in the fight. A stinging hex hit his back. He hissed and retaliated with one of his own. Lupin was spineless but had the sense to hold Lils back.

 

"Let go of me Remus. They are going to hurt each other."

 

"Stop now." She said angrily.

 

"I will if you go out with me Evans." James said finally able to speak without frothing.

 

Lily frowned and tried to escape from her restrains. Severus rejoiced with her answer. He should not have. Potter would have to eventually woo Lily. He recovered from his hex and was back to hitting Black and Potter. They fought until McGonagall arrived with Marlene in tow.

 

“Stop now.” The woman said running to the thick of things. The three boys did not stop; in any case Severus wanted to hit the marauders even more. He knew Minerva would side with her cubs.

“I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF.” She roared. Severus had no plans to stop any time soon.

Minerva took matters into her own hands and immobilized them all. “Detention. Potter, Black, Snape and Evans.” Lily had kicked Remus hard on the knee.

“I will not expect this behavior from a prefect.” Lily did not look properly chastised.

Severus caught her eye and she smiled tightly. She used those smiles to fool people into thinking she was fine. He could not go and ask her what was the matter because Marlene launched herself at him. “Are you fine Sev? What hurts?” She hugged him hard. He looked at Lily who no longer held his gaze. His best friend hurried inside the castle with Alice who asked her if she was fine.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

He spoke to Lils in the train station, two weeks after the incident in the school grounds. They had seen each other and spoken but Marlene was always with them. She would not go away and Lily avoided being alone with him. At first it hurt him deeply and he would have given anything for their relationship to be like when they went out for her birthday but he realized it could never be. Lily was his friend, his best friend. He loved her, he would kill and die for her but they were not meant to be together. Severus had another opportunity to touch her, to hug her and talk to her. He would conform and watch as she married and bore Harry if it meant they would be friends and stay close to each other. Every night for two weeks Severus convinced himself that it was best this way. Lily would understand, he never called her that awful name. She was hurt, he knew that but they would overcome this glitch. Severus single-mindedly ignored all other outcomes and fixed his mind into that blind determination. Since a very young age Severus engaged in a vicious cycle. He examined and ruminated every single outcome to a given situation and decided to adopt the one he believed feasible. In this case, Lily had to forgive him for whatever shortcoming of his and they would remain close friends. His experiences before did nothing to sway his determination. So he waited and was glad that the opportunity presented itself on the journey back to London. Marlene was a prefect and had to be with her fellow Ravenclaw students. Lily and Lupin were prefects too and so they would need to be in the prefect’s compartment for at least ten minutes during the ride.

Marlene kissed him and then was off to her compartment. She assured him they would see each other once they arrived to King’s Cross. He feared she would cry when they finally parted. Severus wanted nothing more than to part with her. Marlene was a nice girl, any other teenager would be glad to be with her but Severus wanted space. He wanted to only be friends with Lils.

He waited in their compartment and was happy to see her red hair. She looked at him and gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“This is our compartment. We always use this one, just the two of us.” He said simply, he had to remain calm and not beg for her forgiveness or something equally reprehensible. “I thought you and your girlfriend would like to be alone.”

He wanted to tell her Marlene was not his girlfriend but she was. The Ravenclaw girl was his girlfriend. She told anyone who listened to her. Severus did not remember having a girlfriend ever. During school he fooled around and snogged a couple of Hufflepuff girls and lost his virginity to Magnolia. She fought with her boyfriend and had sex with him out of revenge but that had been in his sixth year and pretty soon after that he was having one-night stands with discreet seventh year girls. He shook his head; this was not the time to think about sex. He needed to focus on Lily and their friendship.

“No, she’s at the prefect’s compartment with her friends.” He said calmly. Lily sat in front of her and did not say a word for almost an hour. She did not send him away so she meant to speak with him. Lils would have thrown him out or went away if she wanted to keep quiet. He waited patiently.

“I thought you like me.” She said and looked straight to his eyes. Severus would not lie. “I don’t want us to stop being friends.” It was true. He did not want to make the same mistakes he made in the past. He would protect her; he would make sure she and Harry were safe, protected away from harm.

Lily nodded and tried to smile when he held her hand. “I don’t want to lose you. I cannot think about the future without being by your side.” He breathed deeply and looked at her, he had to say it, she needed to know, “I love you Lily; you are my best friend, my family.”

She cried and hugged him. “I love you too Sev. I’ll be ok. You belong with Marlene, I am sure she will make you really happy.” He hugged her and forgot about the fact that they were hugging a little too close.

As expected Marlene cried and kissed him hard. He kissed back; as much as he was conflicted Marlene was a good kisser. She deserved better than him. She deserved more but he had to admit he was glad to see the jealous glint in Black’s eyes whenever Marlene kissed or hugged him. He felt a strange sense of happiness every time Sirius Black scowled or when Marlene rejected his cocky advances.

 

Lily put on a brave face, but she did not completely like Marlene. The three of them made it out of the wall and faced their parents. Marlene turned him around and kissed him goodbye for the hundredth time. She said her goodbyes and was off with her father who glared at him. He tried to ignore him and went to his own set of parents. Tobias looked happy and even healthier than months before. Mother was not in attendance he noticed a little annoyed by the impeding trip with his father. “Is good to see you son?”

“Hello Mr. Snape.” Lily said happily while she looked for her parents. “Hello Lily.” Tobias grabbed her luggage.

“Why are you grabbing her things?” Severus asked a little rudely. Lily shook her head at him.

“I have agreed to take her to Cokeworth. Your parents are visiting your grandmum in Ireland. She fell and broke her hip. Your family left yesterday night.” He said plainly.

“Is Nan fine?” She asked fearfully.

“Harry called two hours ago. They are going to stay with her for the summer.”

Both teenagers looked in askance at the adult. “Eileen will explain.” He said politely and picked Lily’s trunk.

Severus shrugged and was glad Lily would be accompanying them. The drive would not be as tense.

He saw the marauders disperse and was glad when he saw their grey car. They travelled north. Severus reluctantly took the front seat. Tobias put on his records and sang along Tommy Steele’s “Handful of Songs.”

Severus rolled his eyes. His muggle father loved that singer and Elvis Presley. He touched the controls to the radio and managed to get Led Zeppelin.

“What is that racket? Change it back Severus Snape.” Severus glared at him and started singing Black Dog on the top of his lungs. Tobias would not do or say anything as long as Lils was inside the car. Lils smiled at him and she hummed along the song and even sang a couple of verses. Severus would protect Lily if his father showed his true colors.

Tobias shook his head and lowered the volume but remained driving them. Soon Severus and Lily were talking as if Tobias was not there. Severus could not help but relax around her, she had that effect on him, always had.

“I have a confession. I stole Potter’s glasses.” He said solemnly and guffawed alongside Lils. She couldn’t stop laughing. “Why didn’t you tell me? I felt bad for him. He never found those.”

“It was just too funny, him squinting and falling all over the castle.” He chuckled. “It was payback. I had detention with McGonagall every bloody day since the incident by the lake.”

“He went to those too.” Lily defended him. Severus rolled his eyes and snorted, “do yourself a favor Gryffindor, shut it.”

“Hey.” She yanked his hair back. “Ouch Lils. I’m stating facts. McGonagall has preferential treatment for her quidditch players. Potter only went the first two days. He had to train for the bloody quidditch finals.”

“Yes, the one Gryffindor won. You owe me Sev.” She sing sang.

He dug into his pocket and gave here three galleons he had from doing Rosier and Mulciber’s homework. The glint of gold caught Tobias attention, “Where did you get that gold? Your mother and I did not send you any money.”

Severus was about to retort with something nasty when Lily interrupted his train of thought. “His classmates pay him to do their homework. He has quite a business going.” Lils said with an angelic smile. She hated that he did their homework, it was not morally correct according to her.

“If you needed money you only had to write son. Your mother wanted to give you the news but I can’t wait. I got a new job, I am senior accountant at a law firm.” He said with a satisfied smile.

Severus was speechless. “How did you manage to do that?” He asked suspiciously.

“I think that’s wonderful news Mr. Snape.” Lily broke the ice and the tension that formed around father and son.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Tobias and Lily made small conversation and he was not happy to notice Tobias was nice. He wanted his father to be awkward, to be the same resentful person he had been a year and half ago. Tobias was not, he was a pleasant, mild mannered man and he hated him. He hated him and this mirage he sold people.

They arrived home by nightfall. Severus noticed the little changes, the house looked better than ever before. It was decent and it looked well kept.

“I fixed some things.” Tobias said quietly. Severus ignored him.

They went inside and he was shocked to see a pregnant Eileen. “That cannot happen.” He muttered under his breath. “Congratulations Mrs. Snape.” Lily said happily.

“You cannot be pregnant. This did not happen last time. You are not supposed to have a child.” Severus said quietly. He was confused. He was so utterly befuddled.

“We wanted to tell you in person son. It’s a boy.” Eileen said carefully, her face a mixture of hope and fear. She wanted him to be happy for them. For the first time since he was back he realized how happy his mother looked. She looked younger and beautiful, he hair shone and she smiled, there was no gray in her hair, only lustrous black. Her olive green eyes shone with happiness.

She must have heard his mutterings because she looked about to cry. “I am very happy for you mum.” Eileen hugged him and gently said, “Please, for me. Try to talk to him. He’s changed.”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The first week of summer was ordinary. Lily flew to Ireland by muggle means two days after they were out of school. She was to stay with her grandmother for the rest of the summer. The Evans returned that same week. He had hoped that Lily would be back with them but she and Petunia decided to take care of the old woman. Severus barely remembered the woman. He most assuredly had spent his fifth year summer with Lucius. Once Lily was gone he delved into the secret stash of book his mother had. Not so secret anymore since it was now in their rather small makeshift library. There was absolutely nothing about time travel. The young man longed for the room of requirement. When he first stepped into this bizarre reality the room had given him boundless knowledge and materials to reference and cross-reference.

He was growing increasingly worried. He never had a brother, how would this change the future? Severus figured that a sibling would not change so many things. He pondered the notion and even the most rational explanations could not dispel the distress. A child changed things but this individual’s life was not his doing. If anything Severus Snape was the least pleased with his parents’ rekindled marriage. He was certain it was a matter of time before Tobias abandoned Eileen and this unborn child who would be born in late December according to his calculations. This boy, his mother had performed a sex telling charm on her belly would be a peer for Nymphadora Tonks and Charles Weasley. Severus could not help but feel his theories change and shift. There was room for change, in his books there had been a determinism almost pessimistic. The books outlined that events such as births, prophecies and deaths would always find a way to be. These would run their course; a time traveler would do best to let those happen. Severus was utterly confused, this brother of his was not supposed to be conceived. He had been conceived after his father came back home. He tried to think on the feeble excuse his mother gave him. “Your father has changed for good. He has not touched a drop of alcohol since he came back.” Severus did the math and this child was conceived in April. Tobias’s return changed the timeline. Severus thought of all the things he had done differently. In his old life, he was to be inducted next month; instead he was to be home for the holidays. Severus stood up from his bed and paced. He would not be a death eater. The old man said this was his chance. He would change things; no one would deliver the prophecy to the Dark Lord. Lily and her child would be safe. He would protect Lily and Harry against Pettigrew’s treachery. He needed to know how this child could affect her. He was sent back to protect Lily, to make sure she and Harry lived, to atone for his wrongs. Severus would not forget that it had been him. He had sealed her fate that night when he told the Dark Lord about the blasted prophecy. This time around he would fix things.

He needed to know why? Why did Tobias return? It was three in the afternoon. He would be at his office at the law firm. He changed from his pajamas to a blue plain t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He brushed his teeth and walked down to his mother. She was cooking dinner. “Mum, I need the address of the law firm.” She looked at him as if he had grown another head.

“Why?” She set the knife to chop some onions. It was bewildering to see her using magic so freely. The food tasted incredibly better now that she was free to use her magic.

“I want to ask him something.” Severus opted to be truthful.

Eileen smiled, no doubt thinking that it was a step into fixing their father-son relationship. “Wait until he’s home. It’s Friday, he comes home early.” She said happily. Severus remembered the days in which she dreaded the weekends. Tobias would drink from Friday night to Sunday night.

“It can’t wait I have to ask him now.” Severus grew impatient with his mother.

She waved her wand and wrote an address on a piece of paper. “Thanks.” He said and kissed her on the forehead. It had been years since he did so. His mother died during his sixth year. He always regretted not kissing her or hugging her enough.

He took the bus to the busy Manchester Street where Tobias worked. The building looked like any other. He went to the ninth floor. A lady with a bad perm sat in a desk. “Good Afternoon.” She said with a kind voice.

Severus replied the greeting and asked. “I am looking for Tobias Snape.”

The woman nodded and used her phone. “Tobias, there is a boy here asking after you.”  


She looked at him, “What did you say was your name sweetheart?”

“Severus.” He replied quietly.

The woman frowned, “He says his name is Sebastian.”

“Severus.” The young man said forcefully.

“Oh your son. Oh, I see the resemblance.” She laughed. “How silly of me. You look just like your father. Have a seat, Tobias will be here any moment now.”

He didn’t have to wait long. Tobias came to the reception immediately. “Severus. Is it mum? The baby?” He looked worried and out of breath.

Severus frowned, “They are well. I need to speak with you.”

The woman behind the desk looked at them interestedly. “Come into my office.” They walked a long corridor and then were inside a modest if cramped office.

“Let me finish here and we will go home.” Tobias sat and used a calculator and a big book. He waited for half an hour and then they were going to his car.

He remained silent for a few minutes and then asked. “Why did you come back?”

Tobias did not answer. He drove them to an old football field. He stopped the car and went to the benches. There were kids training in the field. “I don’t know if you remember but we used to come here with your mum when you were little.”

He did not remember. Tobias looked saddened, “I have been a worthless dad and I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes with the new baby.”

Severus could not care less about the insecurities of this man and his impeding parenthood. “Why did you come back?” Severus asked determined to get an answer.

“I wanted to make it right.” He replied and took out a cigarette. Severus took one out too. If Tobias could smoke so could he. His father did not dare say anything.

He laughed, “It does not sound like you at all. You despise us, what mum and I are. Why did you come back?”

“I had a dream, a nightmare really. I saw you and your mother dead. She was in a bed, a hospital and you were crying. Then I saw me bitten by a snake but I wasn’t wearing my regular clothes but robes and then I realized it was not I. It was you. You were dead. You looked so very unhappy son. I thought I was losing my mind and did not drink for a day.” He smoked some more. “I drank again that night and saw me killing your mother and you.”

“I want to say I realized I needed to come home but it was not as easy. I went to a place and they helped me. I came back because I care. I became what I did not want to be. I became my father. A mean drunk, I remembered our last encounter. How I almost hit your mother. saw this disgust in your eyes when you pushed me away from your mother and I saw me when I was your age. I want to fix things because it is not too late. I can still of use.”

Severus paled, “How did I die?” He asked softly.

“A snake bit your neck. There was a boy who held you and tried to help you but it was too late.”

“What else did you see?” Severus could not believe Tobias was telling him this.

“Nothing else. Severus I want us to have a second chance.” Those words, they rattled him and he tried legilemency without any use.

He stood up and looked at him. “What happened? Tell me.” He yelled

“I was given a second chance because of you son.” He said.

“It sounds mad but I died Sev, I do not deserve it but I was given this chance to help you. I know the last thing you want is to have a relationship with me but I want to be there for you.” He said honestly. Severus could see the car that ran over him. Tobias did not die. He went for help and went back to his wife and son.

Severus glared at him. “I do not need your help. I have been fine without you and I will be fine when you go back to your bottle.”

The young man had no money for a train to town so he rode with his father. He did not comment. The old Tobias would have tried to hit him but this man quietly drove them home. Dinner was strained. It became clear to Eileen that father and son were not in the path of reconciliation. Severus did not sleep at night thinking about what Tobias told him. Could his father have been awarded a second chance like he did? No, it could not be. Tobias Snape did not deserve it, but neither do you; a voice reminded him every sleepless night. He spent the rest of the time thinking about the mess with certain Ravenclaw girl.

Marlene wrote to him every week. He replied reluctantly. She urged him to visit her in London. Severus invented a hundred and one excuses to not do so. Lily wrote to him too, he corresponded with her happily. He avoided his parents and their talk about the baby.

By the third week of summer Severus found a job in a library helping sort books and clean up a bit. He wanted to be out of the house as much as possible. He could not bear to look at Tobias with his elated face when mum spoke about the baby. They were excited about him. Severus spent sleepless nights thinking about the impact this baby would have.

He was walking back home when a girl ambushed him. “Severus.” Marlene yelled happily.

She hugged him and kissed him. He kissed her back because it was something to do. She looked so happy to see him.

“What are you doing here?” The McKinnons lived in London near the Blacks if he was not mistaken.

“I took a portkey.” She motioned to a bobby pin. “It activates at 9:00 PM.” She gushed. It was 5:00 PM. Severus nodded and walked with her. He took her to see a film, well fifteen minutes. Marlene was entranced by the concept of cinema. She spoke too loud and they had to leave. Severus could not help but laugh at her lack of knowledge. Marlene was fun if only he could fall in love with her.

It was 8:00 PM. “I have to go home.” He said lightly. They were eating fish and chips. The Ravenclaw girl nodded. “I still have an hour and it would be lovely to meet your parents.” Severus frowned.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He said stiffly. He remembered why he had been avoiding visiting her. She was bloody pushy. “Marlene, you wouldn’t like them.”

She stood up. “Let me decide that.” He did not budge and they stayed in silence for the remaining hour. Marlene pouted but he stood his ground.

She kissed him goodbye. Severus thought she would not speak to him for a short while at least but he was mistaken. She wrote to him three days after her visit.

Severus decided to cool things a bit with her. Lily understood that they could not be more than friends. He did not really need Marlene anymore. Severus did not know how to let her down or break up with her.

Lily came back a week before they were to leave for Hogwarts. She looked exquisitely beautiful.

“How is your Gran?” He asked when she met him in their spot by the park.

“She is better now.” She explained about her recovery and the fact that Petunia would stay another week.

“I came back because I have to buy new robes and the books for the term.” Severus offered to take her.

“Tobias will let me drive.” Lily looked doubtful.

Severus rolled his eyes, “He feels guilty and it is trying to make amends.”

“You shouldn’t take advantage of him Sev.” Lily said with doubt in her green eyes.

The young man grabbed her hand. “He should feel guilty. He left us and will leave us Lily, mark my words. Now, do you want to go with me tomorrow?”

She nodded and switched the conversation to their summer assignments. Lily wanted to review her potions essay. Severus went to her house and they worked for the rest of the afternoon. Mr. Evans refused to let them work in her bedroom. They were only allowed to work in the living room under the watchful eye of Mrs. Evans. He felt uncomfortable by the looks Harry Evans gave him. The man looked at him as if he was defiling his precious daughter. Lily was of course oblivious to the dirty looks her dad threw his way. Mr. Evans had distrusted him ever since he found Lils and him in that compromising situation over Christmas holidays.

It took a lot of prodding and begging on Lily’s part for the Evans to let her go with him to London. Eileen was not too keen to let him go but as expected Tobias supported his decision and even gave him some money for petrol and food. He enjoyed their little trip. It was very comfortable to drive and sing along with Lils who joked and looked breath taking beautiful. She wore a blue summer dress and big sunglasses. She told him a billion of stories of her Nan and her time in Ireland.

Once they were in Diagon Alley they bought books and ate ice cream when the bloody marauders made an appearance. Potter was the first to approach their table. “Evans, fancy meeting you here.” The messy haired teen ignored Severus fact that suited him just fine. Black and Pettigrew sulked from afar; neither would dare to come by Severus’s side. Well the mutt was too bloody proud and that vermin of a rat was too cowardly. Lupin greeted them both. Severus had no quarrel with Lupin, truth be told he hated him all those years because of his association with Potter and Black. It did not help that he almost tried to kill him in his werewolf form.

Potter was perfectly civilized and only his look of contempt evidenced him. Lily was not keen on speaking with her Gryffindor classmates. “Come Evans. My parents are out of town. We have a big party tonight. I could nick a portkey from my dad’s office and have you back to your home in less than a minute.” He smiled, a big bloody perfect smile. He remained passive. He would not say anything if not provoked. He waited patiently for Lil’s reply. She would not accept. She had not liked Potter until late in her sixth year. They had been elected Head boy and Head girl. Lily smiled politely but declined. “I have to go back home.” She stood up. Severus paid their bill and helped her with her bags. If anything Potter was relentless and so full of himself it was a trait that he despised, particularly in Potter who was the picture of pureblood arrogance. For years Severus brooded about the unfairness of it all. James Potter, Sirius Black even Arthur Weasley on occasion. They were purebloods fighting against bigotry and yet they knew virtually nothing about muggles.

They were crusaders of a cause they barely knew. Severus suppressed unkinder thoughts. During that last year at Hogwarts he would have given everything to dine with obnoxious Molly Weasley. At least she seemed to care about him and Arthur always gave him a kind word. He should not speak about the Weasleys; they were nothing but good people. Potter and Black were arrogant, vicious in their own righteous way.

The marauders followed them to the busy London Street. Black seemed to know his way around the streets. Lupin was a half blood and as such was more comfortable in muggle settings. Pettigrew and Potter were outright stupid. They pointed and looked out of place. He could not believe how far they were following them. All the while Potter tried to convince Lily to attend to this party at his home but Lily politely refused time and time again. They walked for about seven blocks until they got to the car. Suddenly Black approached them. He had hung back but seeing the car sparked his curiosity. Severus oddly remembered the bike the mutt used to own.

He hated the attention the bloody car was getting. “Evans, I didn’t know you had a car. Can I get behind the wheel? I have been trying to drive one of this for months. Mother and father would not let me but now that I live with the Potters I bet they could let me get one of these.” Severus snorted as he put the boxes of books and other supplies in the trunk of the car. The grey car was not even the latest model out. He doubted this little shit would be used to getting anything less than the latest gadgets.

The mutt noticed his snorts. “Something funny Snivellus.” Black snarled. Severus sneered at him. “Only you.” He spat.

Black glared at him. “What say you Evans? Let me try…”

“Come on Evans be a sport. Let Padfoot have a go.” Potter seemed really excited to see his best mate “have a go” as he put it.

Lily shook her head, “We have to get to Manchester.” She got into the passenger seat and looked out the window. “And it is not my car. It’s Sev’s, his dad gave it to him.” Severus smirked and got into the driver seat.

The marauders, especially Black looked astonished. It was no secret that Severus did not come from money; his robes were clean but worn and sometimes mended. Well, the last year his mother had bought him new everything. She could afford things since Tobias had a steady and well paying job. Severus did not refuse the money, he resented Tobias but he was not stupid.  

He was about to start the car when Lupin spoke up, “Snape, Could you give me a lift to Birmingham?”

“You wouldn’t dare Moony.” Pettigrew put his two cents in.

Black and Potter looked very self assured that Lupin would not get in the car or that he would not give the werewolf the lift.

He looked at Lily who stared at him with those hopeful almond shaped green eyes. “Get in.” He said before he could make sense of his words.

Lupin thanked him and got to the backseat amidst the marauder’s protests. “But Moony you have to come to our party.”

“Can’t, I’ve got a family thing with mum.” The werewolf shrugged his shoulders. Severus did not think Lupin was a party animal. This family get together was probably a ruse to avoid socialization.

Severus grew annoyed with their whining. He started the car and sped off the London streets. Lily was the glue that held the car conversation together. She was witty and drew both young men into small talk. He was not really interested in being friends with the werewolf but he did enjoy some of their talk about muggle history. As it happened they both were interested in power struggle and republic formation in medieval and post renaissance Europe. He remembered older Lupin suddenly; the werewolf was as a sober man. Severus had reluctantly, very reluctantly corresponded with him after his tenure in Hogwarts. Dumbledore forced him to brew wolfsbane and he had needed to know his address. Old Lupin was almost a recluse by the time he saw him the last time. It had been during Potter’s sixth year by Christmas. Severus knew about his relationship with young Nymphadora and disapproved. Lupin, he did not why, chose to disclose it, maybe it was the fact that they were the last of their generation. No one else could understand he supposed.

Severus and Lupin were the last surviving members of a graduating generation of at least twenty-five people. He did not count that scum Pettigrew. They spoke sporadically. Severus remembered when Lupin told him he was in love. Severus almost laughed in his face and left but something made him stay. “I am no good for her.” He said and Severus only nodded because it was true. For all they were neither Black, Lupin or him were good company for anyone. They had seen war too close, they were damaged and could not have honest relationship normal women wanted.

He drove in silence as Lily asked Lupin a million and one questions about his summer and what he would do and whom he thought would be Head boy next year. Lily had a knack for smoothing awkward situations. She managed to include him in their conversations. Once they were close to Birmingham Severus asked where to drop him. “Fine here. Lupin said as they got to the main road. I can take a bus and get to my uncle’s home from here.

The sandy haired man thanked him and smiled at Lily. “Thanks Snape.”

They turned back to the main road. “That was nice wasn’t it?” he could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

“Do not think this will happen again. I do not like Lupin or any other of his idiotic friends.” Lily rolled her eyes and pouted.

Severus drove happily and in silence for about half and hour. “I just think you two would be excellent friends.”

He laughed, a mocking laugh. “Please hear me out.” She said and proceeded to tell him why Lupin and him would be great friends.

“You need more friends too.” She said with a serious face.

“I have enough friends thank you for your concern Ms. Evans.” He said with an equally serious tone.

Lily glanced at him sideways. “Name them, name all your friends now.”

Severus frowned. “You, Narcissa, Magnolia, Regulus and Marlene.” He replied. Lily’s eyes saddened at the mention of Marlene but she recovered quickly. “Five, three because Sirius’s brother does not speak to you anymore and Marlene is your girlfriend.” She retorted.

It was his time to frown. “Well, that still leaves me three good friends and that is more than enough.”

“No it does not. You need to have more friends.” She was very stubborn that he would give her that.

He prepared for a rousing debate on friendship. They had about an hour to get home. Severus enjoyed this part of their friendship. He had discovered in these past few months that he was back that Lily and him could argue. He had been too afraid when he was sixteen the first time. He lost the fear because this time he would not let pride, death eaters or anything get in the way of their relationship. They debated and talked more. She would huff but he would make her laugh and they would speak of something else.

It was getting dark when they arrived to her place. “I don’t need more friends.” He said as he closed the lid of the trunk. They carried her bags to her house. “You do. Black and that other girl will leave this year then you will only have one friend.”

He grumbled but ended up laughing when Lily said he could befriend some of her Gryffindor classmates including two Prewet boys named Gideon and Fabian. Severus thought he had heard those names before.

Lily closed the door to her house and they could hear the Evans in the dining room. They were chatting and laughing. “Mum, Dad I’m home.” She yelled and climbed the stairs to her room. Severus followed her. “Sev is here. We are going up to my room.”

Harry Evans was by his side in less than a minute. “I’ll carry those; you can go home Severus.” He said it with a kind smile.

“Yes sir.” He said with a nod. He waved goodbye to Mrs. Evans.

Lily came from her room when he was opening the door to leave. “Bye Lils.”

“Bye Sev.” She hugged him goodbye. He smiled at her and was going to kiss her cheek when he saw Harry Evans’s piercing green eyes glare at him. Do not touch my little girl they said.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Severus had a rough week. The marauders sans Lupin reverted to their old tricks. It was as if they knew where he was every single time of the day. That stupid map of theirs had to be finished by now. McGonagall and Slughorn bickered over detentions and the like. Severus, Black and Potter had received the brunt of Minerva’s wrath. Two months into his sixth year he was the recipient of three-month detention. The young Slytherin was in charge of scrubbing floors. Black and Potter were cleaning and sorting Slughorn’s stores; both private and the school’s. He barely had time to meet with Lily and Marlene who were busy too. They were both prefects and in Marlene’s case captain of the Hogwarts choir. She did have a beautiful voice.

He had very little time with anyone but Filch. He tried to meet with Lily every other day but the fact was that his busy detention schedule impeded him. It was Friday night, three weeks before Christmas break and he was finally done with the eighth floor. He rushed to the dungeons to get some sleep. He entered his dorm and was glad that his classmates were asleep or out roaming the castles. All he wanted to do was sleep until tomorrow morning. He had been asleep for two hours when an owl arrived for him. It was particularly strange because he woke up to the tawny owl pecking at his hair.

Severus moved away from the animal and opened the letter. It was written in pen and it was his father’s handwriting.

_Son,_

_Your brother has arrived. Him and your mother are well. She’s sleeping right now. Augustus looks very much like you son. He has our same hair, eyes and I’m afraid he will have our nose too. Your mother wants me to write that she thinks Augustus is as handsome and perfect as you were when you were a baby._

_Love,_

_Dad._

Severus felt a knot in his stomach. The child was born. He had a sibling. He could not shake the wrongness of the situation. He did not go back to sleep. It was 3:00 AM, he made his way to the seventh floor and the room of requirement welcomed him. He found the books but the answers to his questions eluded him. He spent half the morning thinking about this baby. Charlie Weasley would be born in two weeks. Nymphadora would be born next year January. He paced around the room. He had signed the slip to stay back but he needed to see this child. Suddenly it seemed like a poor idea to stay in the castle.

Severus needed to see this baby. Lily smiled when she learned that he had a little brother. “So you are going home then.”

He nodded. Marlene smiled prettily when he told her about his visit to Manchester. “That is wonderful news Sev.” She hugged him and excitedly spoke about meeting on Boxing Day. “We can go see a film again.” Lily looked confused. “When did you see a film?”

Marlene proceeded to tell her about her visit over the summer. Lily was not amused but Severus decided to not comment.

Augustus looked like any other baby. He was three weeks old when Severus held him. His parents had the guestroom painted in blues, the crib was his old crib only it was fixed and painted. Tobias looked so happy and his mum looked radiant. “Oh Severus, isn’t Gussie beautiful.”

“Augustus.” Tobias and him said at the same time. Mum laughed, a tinkling sound. “Yes, Augustus Snape.” She picked the child from his arms.

Tobias wore an ever-fixed smile all the Christmas break. Severus was annoyed and spent as little time with the new family as possible. Nothing happened, there was nothing. Gussie, as mum called him was just a baby. He drooled, crapped, cried and gurgled. He was an ordinary baby. He spent most of his days with Lily.

He visited Marlene twice. Severus was conflicted. He loved Lily but Marlene was nice and worshipped him. This girl was physical and attainable, so very accessible. It was harder and harder to not give in to Marlene’s touches. She was a very skilled girl and his bloody body belonged to a sixteen-year-old. He avoided the Ravenclaw because every time they went farther than he would like. In his past life Marlene had never even talked to him. He tried to remember but much as he tried to recall he could not place Marlene in his past. The young man contained himself and retreated any time Marlene tried something more than kissing and light groping. His girlfriend was not deterred, “You are a true gentleman Severus.” She would say and kiss him again. He would not be a hypocrite and say he did not enjoy Marlene’s affection. He found her overbearing at times and they did not see eye to eye some times but she was there and she wanted him.

He would have thought Marlene would not want to be with him. He was not exactly the best boyfriend. He forgot important dates and their outings all the times. He did not tell her he loved her or shared anything more than intellectual curiosity. He would break it off with her but any time he wanted to speak with her about it she would make eyes at him and kiss him until his body and mind forgot that he did not love the girl.

December rolled into January and his birthday. He turned seventeen without a fuss. He went out with Lily and Marlene who did not seem to keen to spend the day together. Severus would have rather spent the day with Lily but Marlene had been the one to invite him to Hogsmeade and he could not deny her. He smiled when Lily gave him a beautiful watch and a picture of them when they were nine year olds. He kissed her cheek and hugged her. Marlene would not be outdone and gave him an ancient runes book and kissed him in front of Lily. His best friend could not entirely hide her wince.

Marlene was not rude but she made it clear that she wanted to be alone with him. Lily was very perceptive and after an awkward lunch she returned to the castle. Severus was distant but the girl did not give up. She had to have a disorder because she was oblivious to his increasing bad humor. It was 7:00 PM when they trekked back to Hogwarts. He was about to leave her in her tower when she answered the riddle. “Thanks for the book.” She smiled and grabbed his hand. “I have a surprise for you.” She led him to the common room. It was dark and there were few students in. They did not look at him twice. Marlene turned to a wall and opened a door to a small room. “I found this place three years ago.”

She smiled and kissed him. He was lost in the kiss. The kisses escalated, his mind was addled with lust and hormones. She moaned his name and her voice was too high, not the breathless whispers he believed Lily would make. “Stop Marlene. We can’t.”

The girl smiled sweetly and grabbed his hand. She placed it in her chest. Severus’s body reacted to the softness and her proximity. “Someone could come in.”

“No they can’t. I placed a charm Sev. I want you to be my first.” She said with a soft voice and hesitancy in her eyes. Severus knew that he couldn’t, he wouldn’t do this to this lovely girl who had only kind words for him. In an uncharacteristic display of affection he hugged her. He never initiated any contact with her and Marlene thought he encouraged her affections. She kissed his neck and fumbled with his robes but Severus stopped her once more.

“I’m sorry Marlene.” He said. The girl looked at him with sad eyes. “Why? Am I not pretty enough?”

Severus shook his head vigorously. “You are lovely and I am a fool Marlene. I can’t, I…”

She cried, big heaving sobs. “You love her. You love Evans.” The girl’s voice wavered.

He shook his head. “It isn’t that Marlene. I just can’t. You deserve better.”

“Only you and Evans are deluded enough. You love her. She does not love you Severus. She could not ever love you as much as I do.” Marlene said with anger and ran out of the room.

It had to be done. He could not keep up with the charades. Marlene did deserve someone better. Someone who loved her, Severus liked her as a friend, he could only love Lily.

Marlene was red eyed that following Monday. She could not hold his gaze for more than five seconds without crying. “You spared her immense pain.” He repeated in his head. He stayed clear of Lily. He did not want her asking questions. It seemed Marlene had not said anything to her yet. The two girls could not be called friends exactly. He did not want to add salt to the Ravenclaw’s wounds. It was not until late that day that Lily finally got a hold of him. He walked back from Filch’s detention, the last one when she ambushed him.

“Sev, what happened?” She asked as they walked to the dungeons. He almost forgot that Lily could be in danger while in Slytherin territory. He switched back to the classroom floors.

“Nothing.” He said tonelessly.

“Why was McKinnon crying all day?” There it was Lily Evans was not one to beat around any bushes. She was blunt as she was brave.

He walked for three more minutes until the girl grabbed his hand. “Tell me what happened. She cried all through herbology.”

Severus felt as slight pang of guilt. “We are not together anymore.” He said as she moved in front of him.

“Why?” She questioned after she gasped audibly.

“We are not compatible.” He replied carefully.

“I thought you liked her.” Lily commented logically. Severus found a windowsill and they sat side by side.

“I do. She is lovely.” Lily’s green eyes saddened “But, I don’t love her, she loves me and I don’t.” Severus said honestly. He was in love with Lily but this girl was also his best friend. He told her almost everything.

“I don’t want to hurt her.” He said honestly.

Lily rested her head on his shoulder. He had grown up in the past year and a half; he looked the same as he had the first time. This time however his clothes were newer and he took care of his appearance. “James Potter asked me on a date.”

Severus felt his heart start breaking. “What did you say?”

She laughed and rested her head on his lap. “No, of course. Potter is not as bad as he was when were first years but he is still a toerag.”

He laughed with her and rested his head on the windowpane. He should encourage her to accept Potter’s date but could not bring himself to utter the words.

“I’m glad you broke up with her.” Lily said almost quietly.

“Why?” He should have not asked. This was dangerous territory. He played with her red hair, meshing the different red hues.

“I did not like sharing you.” She said decisively.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Lily was the happiest she had been in eight months. That had been the length of Severus’ relationship with Marlene. She felt horribly selfish but she did not have to endure Marlene’s presence anymore. In another life they could have been good friends but Severus came between them. The girl had wanted Severus for herself. Lily had been half afraid the Ravenclaw would sink her talons into her best friend.

Ever since they were together Lily saw less of Sev but now that they were over it was like old times. Lily and Sev together like always. It was two weeks after the break up. Severus had been reticent to be with her in public places. He seemed afraid that he would hurt McKinnon. She smiled prettily and combed her hair into two neat braids. Severus gave her a beautiful set of ruby earrings for her birthday. She smiled to the mirror who flattered her eyes and her hairstyle.

“Why so happy Lily?” Alice chuckled as she left the room. The rounded face witch was too happy. She received a letter from Frank. They were engaged and to be married once Alice graduated in a few months. Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy would marry too. She heard Malfoy had disinvited Severus, her friend did not sound distraught by the news.

Lily could hear the marauders downstairs and greeted them with a smile. “You look beautiful Lily.” Potter made cow eyes at her.

She thanked him politely and walked out of the portrait. She met Sev after lunch. He was working on his Half-blood prince book in the library. She plopped down next to him. “How are you sunshine?”

He glared at her. “I’m fine. I just need to remember how…” He rambled some and then smiled when he managed to work out the incantation.

She liked watching him work. He was so concentrated, so attuned to his work; it was as if the world stopped. Lily was happy. He was hers and only hers. Severus was once again alienated. Marlene was hurting; she could not be in the same room with Sev. Narcissa and that other Slytherin girl were all talks of weddings and pureblood rituals. Her best friend only had her and occasionally Remus when he met them for transfiguration practices or homework.                                                                        

Her uninterrupted happiness lasted for a few months, until late May. There was one more week until end of term when it happened. Severus and her were by the lake reading. They had no more examinations and were relaxing by their tree. She saw the hex first. Black looked enraged. Potter and Lupin were behind him. Pettigrew was nowhere in sight. Severus hanged upside down.

“What in the bloody hell did you do to Marlene?” Black barked.

“He’s done nothing. Leave him be. You put him down now.” Lily shrieked. She was livid.

“I can fight my own battles.” Severus hissed and was on guard.

Remus tried to push Black away from Sev. “Padfoot, think about what you’re doing.”

“Shut it Moony and stay out of this.”

Soon Potter, Black and Sev were hexing each other. Lily watched as Severus fought them both. She asked them to stop, even tried to hex Potter and Black but Remus held her back. “They will hurt you Lily.”

“You bloody bastard. What did you do to her?” Black yelled.

“Nothing she didn’t like.” Severus hissed. Lily watched his sneer and tried not to conjure images. Marlene and him couldn’t have. They could not have had sex. No, Sev wouldn’t have. He was only trying to anger Black.

The pureblood charged with more viciousness. Potter fought too but Severus held them off. She knew her best friend was a good duelist but so were her Gryffindor classmates. It defied logic that Severus was not on the ground yet.

Insults and curses flew until McGonagall and the Headmaster reached the place. “ENOUGH.” He thundered. Dumbledore shook his hand and all three wands flew to him.

Severus stopped, so did Potter but Black was deaf to anything but his rage. He attempted to physically hit Severus. What was incredible was that Severus wandlessly and silently blocked his attacks. No sixth year would be able to perform such magic.

The headmaster’s voice was strong and broke no hesitation. “Potter and Black follow professor McGonagall. Mr. Snape, come with me.” He grabbed Sev by a robe sleeve and dragged him back to the castle. Lily stared at the space where he had been; she was dumbfounded.

Severus could feel Dumbledore’s attempt to infiltrate his mind. He could not let him in. “Who are you and where is Severus Snape?”

“I am Severus Snape.” He answered trying to sound bewildered.

“None of my students would be able to block and protect themselves silently, let alone wandlessly.” The old man yanked his left sleeve up. Severus and the old man watched his unmarred pale skin.

“Are you working for Tom?” Dumbledore bluntly looked at him and assaulted his mind. Severus held off as much as he could. Albus could not know he came from the future. It would be too risky. He could not be one of his pawns anymore. Young Severus had not trained as he should have and Albus was ruthless. He delved deep and relentlessly until the younger man broke. It was either give in or end up like Alice and Frank Longbottom.

He tried to guard the prophecy and was successful. The old man saw the horrcruxes. Albus pushed back and went to his cabinets. He poured a potion down his throat; veritaserum.

“What is your full name?” The old man asked forcefully.

Severus felt the drug work into his system. “Severus Tobias Snape.” He said without any tone or inflection. He needed to say everything and answer anything the old man asked.

“Where are you from?” The man asked.

“Manchester.” He replied.

“Where in time?” Albus phrased differently.

“1977.” He said, in the back of his mind he knew he should have not answered.

“Impossible.” Albus mused and then sat behind his desk.

Severus recovered some of his wits after fifteen minutes, “How many are there?”

“Five, his diary, Helga Hufflepuff’s cup, his grandfather’s ring, Ravenclaw’s diadem and his mother’s locket.”

“Do you know where to find them?” Albus looked as if this was only confirmation of his fears.

“Not a single one of them.” He answered; he was still under the effects of Veritaserum.

“How do you know about these artifacts?”

“I just know. They are from another lifetime.” His voice did not betray him. He was coming out of the fog. Dumbledore could not entirely know. He would not be the guinea pig. Not again.

Albus paced and tried to invade his mind; it was fruitless because Severus erected barriers almost impenetrable. He was not going to let this man rule his life once more.

“Severus, your help could turn this war around. This changes everything. I had my suspicions of this but I never thought that Tom could reach such levels of despicableness. Son, I have an organization in mind. We need to regroups and stop Tom before he causes more damage.”

Severus blinked; he enjoyed a year as a regular teenage wizard now it was time to fix things. It had come the time for him to make sure he redeemed himself. “The Order of the Phoenix.” He said seriously.

“Yes, Mr. Snape. What have you heard about the organization?” Dumbledore looked at him curiously. “My classmates come from pureblood families.” Severus left it as that.

The old man contemplated him. “Severus, if what I saw is true you could be of great help to us.”

“I have watched you. I know that Tom has made an offer. Think wisely son, once you are a death eater there will be no turning back. Fight with us, fight for the light. You are seventeen; you can join once your schooling is over. You have a bright future ahead of you.”

Severus did not know if he wanted to be part of the Order what he did know was that he wouldn’t be a death eater. “I will not join the Dark Lord.” He said and let Dumbledore inside his head.

“You are a half-blood Severus, are you not?” Dumbledore asked with a twinkle in his electric blue eyes.

“I am sir.” The young man replied curtly.

“Your mother, what was her maiden name?” The headmaster interrogated.

“Prince. Eileen Prince.” He was uncomfortable and decided to show some of it. It would not do well for Albus to think him too sure of himself. The headmaster already knew the important information. He knew about the horrcruxes that had to be enough.

“Severus, once more I must ask you how do you know about these horrcruxes?” His blue eyes bore into his dark brown eyes.

“I do not know.” He said as honestly as possible.

“You are occluding Mr. Snape.” The older man smiled politely. “Twenty points will be deducted from Slytherin. You may go back to your common room. Needless to say that you will not set a foot outside Hogwarts until you leave for London next week.

Severus stood up and nodded. “Mr. Snape. You are hiding something. I hope some day you realize how dangerous your silence is.”

Albus did not understand; his silence was the key to Tom Riddle’s fall. He walked to the dungeons and saw Black and Potter. He walked past them. He was not about to have a fistfight with both teenagers. Neither had any wands and it would not do for Dumbledore to be more suspicious.

“Snivellus, we have to have a chat.” He wondered if Minerva was as strict as Dumbledore had been with him. He doubted it.

“You coward son of a bitch.” Black spat. Two lifetimes and the littlest provocation from this man always worked. Severus turned around.

“Meet us at the shrieking shack tonight by 8:00 PM.” Potter interjected.

“No.” Severus replied. It was a full moon tonight, he remembered this night painfully. Lupin almost killed him that night. He had been petrified; if it had not been for Potter he would have been bitten that night.

“What did you do to her? She cries all the time and she stopped going to her choir practices.” The mutt sounded concerned. He was the picture of anger.

“I don’t see why this would interest you but Marlene and I are not together anymore.”

It was Potter’s turn to be angry. Black looked confused, “why would she cry all day then? She finally came to her senses.” He muttered.

Severus shook his head and walked away. “Tonight, the Shrieking Shack. We’ll solve this once and for all.” Potter yelled as he walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Lily paced inside the common room. She had waited for Severus the whole afternoon but he had not shown up in any of his favorite spots. She checked the library, the room of requirement, the spot by the fourth floor and the astronomy tower. He was nowhere to be found. She retreated to Gryffindor tower and waited for the marauders to show up. Maybe they had some insight. Pettigrew and Remus were with her. Peter worried and listed all the worst possible outcomes, from detention to expulsion. Potter and Black strolled in with scowls on their faces.

“What happened?” Peter asked anxiously. Remus looked tired and was sweating a little. It was close to sundown. Severus was probably in his dorm. Lily hated that he forgot about her. Once Sev was in a mood he chose alienation. She struggled to make sense of what Potter explained.

“We have to serve detention with Filch and we can’t set foot outside of the castle until school ends.” Sirius sat next to Peter. Potter was unequivocally quiet. Sev had to have had the same punishment from Dumbledore. Lily could not help but think about the wandless magic. There had to be an explanation for that. It had to be accidental magic.

“Did you see Severus?” She asked as she got up. She could try to look for him again.

“He’s bad news Evans. Marlene already came to her senses. Do the same.” Sirius grumbled.

Lily glared at them and went up to her dorm. She put on some jeans and a black sweater. She was a prefect and could roam the halls until after curfew. She was decided to see Severus and have him put her doubts at ease. She had a bad feeling about the whole fight.

She heard Black and Potter. “Snivellus will be there.” Black boasted.

“I don’t think it is a good idea anymore. Something could go wrong. It is done, now if we don’t go he will be hurt.” They hurried out of the portrait hole. She flew by Alice who asked where she was going. “I have to find Sev and those two know where he is.” She motioned to Potter and Black.

She stalked them. They headed out to the one-eyed witch statute. They were too busy peaking about how they wished Peter were there. We’ll just have to go the long way. This was a tunnel. She followed closely. It was hard to not speak or stumble. She placed charms around her.

“There should be an easier way to do this.” Sirius walked up and to some steps. Lily waited and then she was in Honeydukes.

Lily followed them to the Shrieking Shack. “He’ll be here any moment now. Remember, we open the door. Let him see Remus and then close it. We transform then. Let’s change before our clothes end up in shambles like last time.” They walked upstairs. Lily sat down in the armchair near an old fireplace. She saw a hooded figure approach

“What in the hell are you doing here?” Lily saw Remus shaking like a leaf.  He looked pained when he saw her. She looked outside and saw the full moon. Remus glanced at the window and his eyes dilated. Severus was right, there in front of her was Remus Lupin, the werewolf.

She was petrified; Remus, gentle Remus was a werewolf. He looked pained, out of control in agony. “Lily move.” Severus. It was his voice. He pushed her aside. They were trapped Severus moved to shield her effectively leaving Remus in front of their only exit.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Remus howled, a shrill, deafening sound that chilled her bones. Severus didn’t have a wand. He took hers and tried to stun Remus. It only maddened the werewolf. She saw in horror as her meek, bookish friend advanced to them. She yelled, scared for once because Severus was on the floor clutching his arm. Remus had pushed him to a wall and was getting closer to them.

Potter and Black came rushing down. Lily reeled when they became a stag and a huge black dog. She looked as the stag tried to engage Remus into leaving the house. The dog bit at skirt. Severus still looked at the werewolf and then snapped when she pushed hi away from Remus.

“We have to go Sev.” She ran following Sirius, the dog. He led them through a tunnel into Hogwarts. They made it to a clearing. She breathed a little easier. She hugged Severus. “Are you ok?”

“My arm’s broken Lils. Not so tight.” He said painfully, she pulled away and saw his arm that looked broken in at least three places. “We have to get to the castle.” He struggled to find his balance.

Lily nodded but as soon as they were on their feet they heard a rather close howl. They ran but the werewolf the dog and the stag were really close to them. She couldn’t help but think that James Potter was charging against a werewolf and Sirius Black had a nasty bleed on his right leg.

They ran toward the forest because it was easier to get lost in the foliage. She was breathing heavily and was scared. Severus shot streams of light toward different directions in attempts of distracting Remus. They ran but the werewolf lost no ground. They leaned against a big tree. “We can’t keep running.” She was distressed. Remus was very close and soon would approach them.

Severus shook his head. “Climb the tree. I’ll distract him and then I’ll climb. We’ll have to wait until sunrise.”

She shook her head, “Sev, this is not Remus. He could kill you.” Lily wanted to wake up from the nightmare now.

“Do as I tell you Lils. It will work.” He kissed her forehead and nodded to the tree. Lily conjured a rope and climbed. She was at least three meters above ground when Remus finally scented Sev. The stag and the dog followed Remus closely. They tried to get his attention but the werewolf was fixated on the new scent. Severus climbed the tree quickly and the movement caught Remus’s attention. Lily felt her heart stop when she saw Severus, he was almost there next to her when he lost his footing and fell to the ground. She cried out. Potter and Black ran the opposite direction and mercifully Remus followed the movement.

Lily did not know how but she was down and next to Sev. His head was bleeding profusely and his right leg was broken. “Severus, Sev, please.” tears of fear and pain ran through her cheeks. She shot signals of a red light. Hagrid, the groundskeeper taught the students to emit the signals, just in case one of them ever was hurt or lost while in class or detention. Lily did not dare move him. She cried and waited. The marauders were far; there were no more howls.

Hagrid arrived in less than two minutes. “Please help me.” She cried. Hagrid looked worried and carefully carried an unconscious Sev to the castle. Lily cried and walked as fast as she could. She cursed not being able to apparate.

“Don’t you worry Lily, Madam Pomfrey will able to mend him in three seconds.” Hagrid voiced out loud. Lily practically ran by his side. She had a nasty cut on her arm but the adrenalin prevented her from feeling any real pain. It was Sev who worried her. He had not wakened up and Remus had a go at him more than once. Could he be infected? Could he recover? Would he wake up? She pushed those thoughts out of her mind and rushed past the Great Hall to the infirmary.

There were three students with stomachaches. Hagrid’s voice boomed through the infirmary and Madam Pomfrey issued order as soon as she saw Sev’s broken body.

“What happened Ms. Evans?” Lily looked up to the matron. As she placed her wand above Severus, “Is he going to wake up?” Lily looked at the witch pleadingly.

The nurse nodded. She conjured a patronus. “What happened child?”

“Remus” was all she said. Madam Pomfrey’s eyes rounded and she hastily went to Sev.“I’ll be right with you Ms. Evans. I must see to Mr. Snape first. Lily nodded and watched as the matron pulled the curtains around Severus’s bed close. She wanted to protest, to tell her that she had to be by Severus’s side in case he woke up. The redheaded girl trembled and realized she had a bright red cut and a tear on her arm. She waited for Madam Pomfrey, anxiously trying to hear what was happening next to her.

Twenty minutes later Madam Pomfrey came to her bed and helped her out of her sweater and dirty jeans. She had scratches on her legs and arms, as a result of running and tripping over branches. Madam Pomfrey cleaned her cuts and with her wand healed her. She looked at the nasty open wound in her forearm. She did the same; only this time she applied a salve. “Did Remus do this?”

“No, I must have tripped or something. Is Sev going to be fine?” Lily breathed deeply. “Did, did Remus bite him?”

“No. Ms. Evans you are both unscathed.” Lily nodded sadly. It shocked her; she had suspected that Remus was indeed a werewolf. She was scared of the werewolf now and she was sorry for the friend. Remus lost all control. It was a beast that followed them into the forest. She had no problem dissociating the werewolf and her friend. She thought about him and it was real. Remus suffered through this every month…

Lily snapped out of her musings when the Headmaster asked her a question. “Lily, everything is fine.” He said with a soothing voice. The girl seldom spoke with the headmaster. She could count the times with her right hand. Lily heard as professor Slughorn and McGonagall discussed whether they would contact her and Severus’s parents.

“There can’t be a discussion. This is a serious matter. Snape is in a magically induced coma. We have to let Eileen know.” Their transfiguration teacher ended and left the infirmary in a second.

Dumbeldore smiled and then sat down next to her. She looked at the older man and could not control the words that stumbled out. “Remus is a werewolf. Black and Potter tried to kill Severus. They told him to go to the Shrieking Shack. I followed them. They are animagi. We almost died.” Lily said, realizing how close they had been to dying.

“No one must know about Remus being a werewolf.” Lily nodded, she understood, it would cause Remus to lose everything. “Rest now Lily. You may go back to your dorm. I trust you shan’t say anything about tonight.”

Lily nodded, “What will happen to Potter and Black?” Dumbledore patted her hand. “Do not worry Ms. Evans. They will be held accountable for what they did. It is best that you go to your dorm.”

“May I stay here? I want to see Sev when he wakes up.” The old man’s eyes twinkled. “Sleep now child.” The headmaster must have done something because she felt instantly tired and closed her eyes; her last thought was of Severus and how to convince him to not divulge any information about Remus’s affliction.


	16. Chapter 16

 Chapter 16

All he could feel was pain. He opened his eyes and the usual stark and sterile surroundings welcomed him. He was in the infirmary, no doubt after another mission spying. He could hear people talking in a nearby place.

“He is a boy. He’s not even eighteen yet.” He could hear a man speaking with rage. Severus stood up and stumbled a little. He was dizzy but it would not be the first time he walked through pain. He took a steadying breath and walked to the curtains. He drew them apart and saw a teenage Lily asleep in a bed next to him. She looked to be perfectly fine. “You are awake.” She smiled, one of her I’m so happy smiles. He nodded. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Do you remember what happened yesterday?”

He thought back to when he went to Gryffindor Tower and Alice told him that Lils went to look for him with the marauders. His heart leapt to his throat and he ran to the Whomping Willow. He managed to get the tree immobilized and slipped inside through the tunnel. The whole trek was painful. He kept remembering when Potter saved him in the nick of time. Was he too late? Had Lupin unwittingly bitten Lils? He pushed her aside and managed to get in front of the werewolf.

“I remember Lils.” He sighed when she hugged him gently. He relished the hug.

He opened his eyes and saw Lupin Black and Potter who were in the other bed. Potter was awake and saw the scene with sadness. Lupin looked exhausted and pale, he did not have access to wolfsbane yet it seemed. “Is that your dad?” Lily asked against his neck.

Severus moved away from her and stood up. He inched close to the door and heard attentively. It could not be muggles could not see Hogwarts. The magic around the castle was ancient, deep and powerful. In his years as a teacher or student he had not see a muggleborn parent. Slytherin was not exactly known for having halfbloods or muggleborns. He was sure there were a few but he had never treated with such.

“I don’t understand. You have a creature, a beast, a bloody werewolf studying with my son. You tell me that he and Lily Evans were attacked by it. No it is not bloody fine Eileen.” Tobias hissed with a silky voice. Severus recognized the tone as his own. Once again he was surprised by how at times he resembled his father.

“I assure you Mr. Snape that Severus will be fine. He should wake up any moment now.” The headmaster said. The young Slytherin went back to his bed and feigned sleep. Lily did the same.

“Oh Severus.” His mum said; he felt when she caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. Like a little boy he felt somewhat comforted by her actions. He felt irrational but enjoyed her touches.

“When is he going to wake up?” Tobias’s voice sounded anxious. The young man felt another person hold his hand and squeeze. “That must be him.” It had been years since his father willingly showed affection. He had to have been five or six the last time Tobias Snape hugged him or held him. Severus wanted the lump in his throat gone.

“What will happen to those who hurt my son?” Tobias asked his voice a little rough.

Severus heard Dumbledore sigh, “They are hurt too. They are here as is young Lily Evans.”

Tobias was growing impatient. “That does not answer my question. What actions will you take as headmaster?”

“I will be writing to their parents.” Albus spoke rationally. “That is not enough.” Tobias said with rancor. “My son has been tortured by those boys for almost seven years. I will not sit by this, what will be next? I would like for you to expel them.”

Severus almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. Tobias Snape defended him like no one else had. Last time they had sent a letter to mum and she had waved it off. The marauders got off with just a slap on the wrist.

“Remus Lupin is a fine boy. He’s done nothing wrong. He was unaware of Severus’s or Lily’s presence.” McGonagall defended.

“Tobias, Minerva is right. Look at that boy, he cannot help it love. It is not his choice.”

There was a pause, thankfully Lily had not spoken and Potter chose to remain silent too. “That might be so but those other two boys knew what they were doing. You told us so.”

Severus could not feign sleep anymore. “I’m fine.” He grumbled when Eileen smoothed his forehead. He sat up and looked around. Mum wore robes; forest green ones. Tobias wore a suit. He must have been on his way to work. It still puzzled him that he could be here.

“We’ll leave you be.” The headmaster said and looked at the ceiling.

“We will revisit this conversation headmaster.” Tobias kept going at it. The teachers left and Eileen drew the curtains around to give the illusion of privacy. Mother would have been more effective if she used a spell.

“Can you see the castle?” He asked immediately. His father looked on the verge of hugging him or crying. This man was such a different version from the violent, drunken and volatile man he knew.

“Not a thing. All I see are ruins and land. I keep thinking that I have to go to work. Your mum said it was the spells around the property.”

Mum smiled. “We have been trying to use the Floo network for hours. The headmaster was kind enough to lift some charms and we managed for your dad to be here. He was adamant on being here with you.”

“What happened?” Tobias asked with the same concern he had shown minutes ago. Severus did not want to talk about their ordeal but he knew Tobias and Mum would not let him be until they were satisfied with his account.

He spoke to them about his suspicions of Lupin being a werewolf and of looking for Lily. He left out details about Marlene and how he got to the shrieking shack. Eileen nodded and Tobias asked pertinent questions here and there. “We should speak to these people. Those boys need to be held accountable for what they did. Lily and Severus could have been killed.” His father insisted.

Severus did not want to make a big fuss of things. “No.” He would have loved to have this reaction during his first lifetime but now it seemed irrelevant. He had risked his life on a daily basis every day for more than three years before dying. He had been worried about Lily but she was perfectly fine. He would make sure Potter and Black paid for their stupidity. “Lupin did not know what he was doing.”

“That might be so but those other two boys were very well aware of their friend’s affliction. Severus, your father is correct. There should be measures taken. These boys have gone too far.” Mum said in a reasonable tone.

“The headmaster will know what to do.” The young Slytherin played dumb for the sake of things.

Tobias looked doubtful. “He does not seem interested in punishing them.”

“It does not matter.” Severus said plainly.

“I thought you would seek retribution Sev. This is not a prank. They could have killed you. Do you understand how alarming this is? They can try again. They can succeed by the look of things.” Tobias said seriously.

“Well, I will adhere by the Headmaster’s decisions.” Severus replied with calmness. He did not see a future in pursuing any additional action against the marauders. Dumbledore would protect them. Severus was not a fool; he understood that Black and Potter were gold mines. Albus would need those two pureblood fools. Wars were costly. Potter was rich and had financed the first war. There was no indication that this would change in this lifetime. Black would come in handy too. If he was not mistaken, one of his rich uncles had left him a hefty fortune. Sirius Black’s galleons would be spent between the first and second wars. Dumbledore would not risk alienating his resources. He would give them detention and speak with them.

“You will not. This is not some joke son. They should at least be suspended for the rest of the term.” Tobias looked outraged by his passivity.

“I am an adult and I will not press any charges.” Severus said ominously.

His father shook his head. Mum looked completely astonished. “If that is what you want son.”

“It is.” He then noticed that Augustus was missing.

“Where is Agustus?” He asked in part to switch the conversation and also out of concern.

“He’s with Rose Evans. They know about Lily but it was extremely hard to bring them here.” Mum said with complicity. 

Tobias had a far away look. “It is enough job to have your dad here. I could not concentrate and lead three people here.” She used her wand and Tobias recovered from his bout of inattentiveness.

The Snapes heard some noise outside and drew the curtains. An older couple sat with James Potter and Sirius Black. Another wizard sat with Remus Lupin.

The man with Lupin had to be his father. He looked just like Remus had when he last saw him but his eyes were grey and he had a beard. Dumbledore and McGonagall emerged from Madam’s Pomfrey’s office.

“We came as soon as we got your owl Albus.” The man who had Potter’s face explained.

Severus had never met the elder Potters. They died within months of each other or so he thought. James Potter had been an orphan when he married Lily.

“Charlus, it is best if we move to my office. I wish to settle this matter once and for all." The older man said with a calm and almost out of place air.

 

Severus felt uncomfortable. By all accounts he should be used to Albus's exasperating moods. He watched as the adults attempted to follow the headmaster.

 

The young man felt irrational anger. He was not about to let them rule his life once again.

 

"It is to my understanding that all the parties involved in the incident are of age." He said with a firm voice.

 

Dumbledore looked at him approvingly. "You are correct Severus."

 

"I am fine with whatever corrective measure you consider proper for Potter and Black. Lupin, as is Lily, is a somewhat innocent bystander." It took a lot out of the dark eyed man to admit that Lupin had been unaware of the incident.

 

Lyall Lupin looked relieved. "Young man, not everyone will be as understanding as you are. I am afraid that if the wizarding world knows of Remus's affliction his life will be harder than it already is."

 

Severus thought back when he had accidentally let it slip that Lupin was in fact a werewolf. "You have my silence."

 

"I have no desire to discuss this anymore.”

“There will be a discussion nonetheless. All of you are adults, that is fact but there is also the remaining issue that you are enrolled in this institution.” Minerva asserted with rigidity.

“As always Minerva is accurate. If you please.” The headmaster led the older adults to his office. Tobias and Eileen left the infirmary.

Severus breathed a sigh of relief. Lily drew his curtains open and sat next to him. She drew the covers to them. He was painfully aware of how close they were. “I thought you would have wanted to marauders expelled.” Lily said with a small voice.

“I have known about Lupin since our second year. I did not know that Potter and Black were animagi.” Severus said as Lily rested her head next to his.

“Why didn’t you press any charges?” She asked quietly.

“It would not have done any good. Their parents would have fought tooth and nail to keep them in Hogwarts and it would have been a long draining process.” He stated trying to sound as logical and methodical as possible.

“What should I do?” Lily asked, her voice sounded far away. He realized her was tired. “Don’t press charges.” The teenager advised and closed his eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Severus felt the tension in the now cramped headmaster’s office. Charlus and Dorea Potter sat in front of the headmaster. Lyall Lupin and The Snapes sat in different couches. Lupin, Lily and him sat in conjured chairs by some bookshelves. Black and Potter sat next to the elder Potters.

Minerva was by Albus’s side. She stood quietly while everyone else sat down. His old friend had been beautiful. She looked positively fuming. The young Slytherin had changed to fresh clothes, as had the others. Remus looked sickly but he had been adamant that he wanted to be present for this disciplinary hearing.

Dumbledore addressed the students for the first time. “The events of yesterday night are deplorable. Four of you are lucky to be alive. Your parents are rightly concerned about this. We have come to an impasse. Ms. Evans, I have sent a letter to your parents. Mrs. Snape agreed to explain them about these events. They are aware of the circumstances and trust you will come to the right decision. They are scared Ms. Evans but understand this is a grievous accident.” The old man paused looking over his half moon glasses to the young girl. “As Severus correctly pointed out all of you are adults and as such have the option to alert the ministry and pursue additional punishment,” Dumbledore sighed and asked Lily.

“Lily will you press charges?” his young friend met his gaze. Severus tried to convey a negative answer. Lily and him rowed minutes before. She wanted Black and Potter to be held responsible for their actions.

Lily looked at him and then held his hand, a gesture of trust no doubt. “No.”

Dumbledore smiled. He then turned to Severus. “I must ask you again Severus. Do you wish to press charges?”

Severus would have loved to have these choices last time. He would have not hesitated and declared Lupin a werewolf. He would have sent all of them to Azkaban given the opportunity. Now he had to step back and think, not like the teenager that he was supposed to be but the adult he was. The adult Severus who had been in two wars and had seen Potter’s dead body, Black’s cynicism and Lupin’s broken spirit. Harry needed Potterin order to be born. Some things did not change. He had still seen Lupin’s werewolf form only this time he did not owe anything to Potter. This time Lily owed him a life debt.

“No, I don’t.” He saw as Black and Potter smirked and he realized how much he still hated them. It was irrational and visceral. Severus hatred for these two men had not diminished. “Very well Mr. Snape. I want to commend you for your wise decision…” Severus let his mind wander as Dumbledore lectured them.

Severus paid attention again when Dumbledore announced the correctives. “Mr. Potter and Mr. Black are forbidden to set foot outside of Hogwarts Castle until the end of their careers here. They will not take part of any apparation courses in the castles and will serve detention with our caretaker Mr. Filch every day until the end of their Seventh Year. In addition, Mr. Potter will be stripped of his captainship and place as a chaser in Gryffindor’s Quiddicth team.” Minerva looked sour.

Potter and Black had their mouths agape and looked every bit surprised. Lily spoke up. “Will they be suspended?” She glared at Potter and Black. “They wanted to kill Sev. I heard them speak of how he would meet them in the Shrieking Shack. They planned this. They hate him, only because he’s different.” Her temper flared and she stood up. Potter looked crushed. Black stood up. “Ask him what he did to Marlene. Ask him to tell you. This bastard did something to her.” Black stated rancorously.

“He’s done nothing to her.” Lily said. “You can’t accept that Marlene likes him. You are an arrogant little prick who is in love with a girl who does not even like him. You lured Sev into the shack because you are jealous of him.”

Severus had never seen Black so angry. He was surprised none of the adults did anything. They could only watch as the two teens argued. It was mildly entertaining. “Snivellus is nothing but a death eater in the making. Open your eyes Evans. He is evil he probably follows Voldemort. He hates your kind. He will turn on you.”

“That is a very grave accusation Sirius.” Charlus Potter said, finally interrupting.

“Indeed it is.” Eileen said. Her eyes shone with anger. Tobias looked confused and hazarded that it was not because of any charms or lack of them.

Lupin Sr. looked uncomfortable and Dorea Potter glanced speculatively at Severus.

Dumbledore frowned. “Do you have any proof?” He asked with a steely voice.

Black glared at him and Severus glared back. “He does not have the mark yet but it is only matter of time. I know his sort. He spews pureblood propaganda and hates muggles. He is evil. He enjoys hurting people.”

 

“Have you forgotten what Mulciber did to Mary or when Snivellus cursed Peter with that horrible rash?” Sirius addressed Lily once again.

“Albus, Are you harboring death eaters in the makings amidst our children? This young man should be expelled immediately.” Dorea Potter said haughtily.

“I will not have my son treated like a criminal by a spoiled little boy. My son has done nothing wrong or illegal. Those two young men tried to kill him.” Tobias said. “I don’t rightly know who this Voldemort fellow is but my son is not a sadist or any of what you are suggesting young man.”

Potter’s eyes rounded. “Your father is a muggle. You are a half-blood.”

Severus remembered hiding that fact through out his teenage years and early adulthood. He remembered hating Tobias; almost believing that if he was a powerful death eater Lily would think him worthy.

His father looked puzzled. Severus looked at his mum who wore an angry scowl but was silent. “My son is a hard working young man. Yes, I am a muggle.” Tobias said with a glare.

Charlus Potter looked at Eileen for the first time. “Little Princess.” He said with a smile. Dorea Potter gasped. “Oh Love. It can’t be you. You look beautiful.” The older woman’s haughty expression vanished as she hugged Eileen Snape.

“Dear, why did you not say anything? We been speaking about our children for hours and you did not say who you were. You look so different.”

Severus was puzzled and shocked. Where did these women know each other? Potter and the rest of them were equally surprised by the tone and change in Dorea.

“What is going on now? Eileen? This woman accused our son of being a criminal if I’m not mistaken.” Tobias and Severus wore matching scowls. “I apologize for our behavior we did not know he was your son Little Princess.”

Eileen blushed. “Eileen, explain now.” Tobias said harshly. Severus could not even bother to reproach him for his tone because he felt the same exasperation. It was Dumbledore who hastened things and regrouped.

“Dorea, Charlus, do you agree with the punishment?” The headmaster asked with a smile.

“Oh, of course. Jaime should have never behaved in such careless manner. Sirius will follow suit too. I am sure Walburga and Orion would accept the punishment.” She said dismissively.

“On the matter of Remus. We would like to assure you Lyall that we will not disclose his affliction. James and Sirius were completely out of line. We are very grateful for Severus’s and this young lady’s mature attitude.” Charlus Potter stated seriously.

“Mr. and Mrs. Snape, are you comfortable with the terms?” Eileen nodded but Tobias shook his head. “Not at all, but Severus has decided to not press charges. I trust his judgement.” Tobias said with a scowl.

“Lyall you have my word that this will not happen again. I will make the trek with Remus from now on.” Dumbledore said placidly.

Lupin Sr. nodded and then looked at Severus. “I have no words young man.” the young Slytherin stiffly nodded and shook his hand. “Headmaster, I would like to take my son home. Hope is beside herself with worry.” The older man nodded.

Severus watched as Lily hugged him. “I am so sorry Severus.” He said with a pained voice. He remembered the older Lupin, broken, beaten by life. “I am too.” Severus offered his hand. Remus silently shook it. The young half-blood noticed that Remus did not glance at his long time friends.

McGonagall escorted the Lupins out of the office. “I would like to know how you know Potter’s mother.” Severus said when he noticed how animatedly she talked with Potter’s parents.

“Oh you don’t know.” Dorea said and kissed his forehead. He was very uncomfortable by the gesture.

Tobias looked puzzled. James and Black looked disgusted. Lily looked out of place. “I should go.” She said and left the office. Severus wanted her to be with him but it was best if she left. He was too busy speculating now.

Dorea Potter smiled at him like a grandmother would. “We are related. Well, Eileen and you are related to Charlus.”

James and him said no at the same time. “It can’t be.” James Potter hissed. The elder Potter frowned. “Yes. It can. Aurelius, Eileen’s father and I grew up together. He’s my cousin; his mother was my aunt Irma Potter was his mother. Eileen spent many afternoons with us when she was growing up. Didn’t you little Princess.” Charlus hugged his mother.

“You and Severus are cousins.” Dorea said delighted.

“We are not.” Severus said defiantly.

“Leen, I don’t understand. How could you never say anything? That boy has bullied our son for years. You could have prevented this.” Tobias said, how very hypocritical of him when he had inflicted his fair share of abuse on both of them.

Eileen shook her head. “Well Tobias, your son like you is very stubborn and did not volunteer any names to his aggressors. How was I to know that it was Uncle Charlus’s son?” She offered bitingly. That calmed Tobias. He still frowned.

“Oh Sweetheart, don’t trouble yourself. We searched after you when Cassiopeia owled me. You should not have run away Eileen.”

“He was going to make me marry Orion Black.” If anything the teenagers were more surprised than anything. Severus had never even contemplated his mother’s life before he was born. All he knew was that Aurelius Prince disowned her after she married Tobias and that she had been an only child. Severus received the entire Princes’ assets once his grandfather Aurelius died in 1980, two years or so after mother died.

Severus and Black glared at each other. “I am very glad you ran away.” He said, for the first time relieved that Tobias was his father. In another life he would have been related to Sirius Black, they would have been brothers. He shuddered at the idea.

Black frowned and was about to retort when Dorea Potter spoke again. “You vanished darling. We looked everywhere. No wonder, you married a muggle. You must have stayed in the muggle world.

“Yes auntie. This is Tobias, my husband.” She said quite happily.

What followed was surreal even he had to admit this was very unexpected. Soon mother was arranging meetings with the Potters. Tobias looked as displeased as his son. The Potters and his mother walked out of the office. Black and Potter left too, to their common room no doubt.

Dumbledore politely ordered Severus and his father out of his office. Severus was cold and distant, still in shock that he was related to James Potter and to Harry, the boy who lived was his cousin once or twice removed. He could not care, he cared that Dumbledore omitted the information. He was not naïve enough to think that the shrewd headmaster did not know about his blood connection to Potter.

“Where are we? I must go back to work.” Mother’s charm was wearing off. He contemplated letting his father wander around the castle until mother found him. He dismissed the thought when they reached a corridor full of Slytherins. They would torture him.

“You are in Hogwarts, my school.” Severus said and tried a lucidity charm. It worked, Tobias walked around the castle. “This place is ancient.” He said in a small voice. “I was not able to see the structures when your mother pointed her wand at me. This place is beautiful. His father looked out to the great lake. “There is a giant squid. It is not warm enough to see him yet.” Severus explained.

“You must love to come to this place. Your mother used to speak about it when we first met.” He said sadly. Severus wondered how mum could omit the magic in this place.

Severus was quiet. Tobias walked along the walls and watched the portraits moving. “They do that all the time. He wondered whether his father could see the ghosts. Apparently he could because he was entranced with the Grey Lady who glided away crying pitifully. The Bloody Baron trailed after her. “Your mother said they were real. I never thought…”  


They walked past a few Ravenclaw girls. He did not notice until Marlene hugged him. “I heard you were in the infirmary. What happened? I heard Sirius tried to kill you.” She sobbed and cried.

“Marlene, I’m perfectly fine. I’ll talk to you later.” He said frowning.

Tobias looked at the girl and then at his son. “This is the young lady you were seeing?” He asked quietly.

Marlene looked at him is askance, “Marlene, this is Tobias Snape, my father.” his father offered a stretched hand. The girl shook it, “pleased to meet you sir.” She then looked at Severus. “I’ll meet you in the library tonight at seven.” She kissed his cheek and walked away.

The two men walked some more to the Quidditch pitch. Hufflepuff and Gryffindor trained alongside. Tobias looked at the brooms and the different balls flying. “Can you do that?”

“Not very well, no.” He said. He wanted mother to be done with her conversation and take Tobias away from his world.

“That girl you introduced me to… She’s pretty but not as pretty as Lily.” Tobias attempted to strike conversation with him. Severus wanted nothing more than to have his mum take Tobias away.

“Severus, are you being careful?” Tobias sounded hesitant.

It dawned on him that Tobias wanted to have the talk with him. “You don’t have to talk to me about it.”

“I want you to be safe. Well, that boy implied some things. I know you would never do anything like that but if you are having sex I want you to be protected.” Tobias stammered out.

“No need to worry. I know how to take care of things.” Severus blushed. He never expected to have this conversation with Tobias.

“So you have then.” Tobias prodded.

“Yes, I have, now can we discuss something else? We should look for mum now.” He walked ahead of his father until the found her and the Potters looking at pictures of baby Augustus.

“He is precious. You must come visit darling.” Dorea said with an open and kind smile. She looked completely different from the cold haughty woman who implied he was a death eater. Mother seemed to have forgotten that incident and happily agreed to visit with Augustus next weekend.

It had to be the most surreal experience in both his lives. In the span of three days he had Dumbledore discover he was not an ordinary teenage wizard. He encountered a rabid werewolf, saved Lily and discovered that he and bloody Potter were related. He did not include Tobias in the equation. His father defended him and was in Hogwarts. Tobias, who hated magic, the same man who prohibited all magic in his house while his son grew up.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Their seventh year was filled with surprises. Remus Lupin was not on speaking terms with two of his best friends. Severus knew because now Lupin trailed after Lily. She, the bleeding heart that she was took him in and now he was part of his select group of friends as Lily called it. Severus spent the whole summer break with Lils and his family. Mum had taken to visit Mrs. Potter, baby Gus in tow. Those days it was up to Tobias and him to make dinner. Severus was an excellent Potions master and could cook. His father appeared to be adept too. Tobias would make an effort and try to engage Severus who would rarely strike conversation. He corresponded with Remus. It was a shift. Wolfbane had been invented that late June and Severus had talked Eileen into buying the ingredients. He made it and owled it to Remus who had been so grateful he tried to pay him. Severus had not been aware that the werewolf was estranged from his long time friends. Lily kissed him that day when he commented he had brewed the potion for Remus. It had been a sticky kiss, they had eaten strawberries and she kissed him like she wanted something more. They had not spoken about the kiss but it was there, like an invisible pull.

Marlene had taken their failed relationship in stride. They spoke that night when she hugged him. “I’ll be here Severus. I won’t pressure you; maybe one day you could love me like you love Lily. I will wait Sev. I have time.” She smiled, a sweet full of promises smile and became his friend. Lily did not take Marlene’s presence that well but he made a rather convincing case. She had been the one to accuse him of being a recluse. With Narcissa and Magnolia married and were ensconced in their mansions like the pureblood witches they were he had no friends but Lily and Marlene. He would not count Remus no matter how much time they spent together now. The ravenclaw had not initiated anything with him and that seemed to appease Lily somewhat.

Time seemed to fly by. Augustus turned one without fuss. Dorea Potter and Charlus Potter became like grandparents to the little boy. Mum visited the elderly couple every weekend. Tobias declined politely every time. Severus used legilimency and discovered a warped sense of loyalty. Those people were the parents of the little arrogant prick who tormented his child for six years. Severus choked some unwanted feelings and left the house to go with Lils to a screening of the Godfather. Lily Evans was a fan of action films.

Eileen cried for weeks when the Potters died. It was after Gus turned one. Dorea died of a complication of dragon pox and Charlus Potter died of sadness or so mum said. Severus did not attend the funeral but his parents did. James Potter was devastated as was Sirius Black. Remus forgave them and they were once again the marauders. Severus did not mind. Remus was a decent fellow. It was bound to happen. They kept their friendship.

Severus remembered that winter break. Severus met Vernon Dursley, a dull bloke during Petunia’s engagement party. He was muggle and did not know anything about magic. Petunia begged Lily to behave like a normal person. She did but was deeply hurt when Tuney refused to have her as bridesmaid for the wedding. She told her fiancée that her sister was troubled. Harry and Rose Evans of course did not know about the lies their eldest daughter told. Lily put on a brave face but crumpled when Dursley and his sister left.

Petunia married and the Potters died. It was life. Petunia seemed glad to leave Manchester for Surrey where her new husband worked. The man remained oblivious to what Lily was. His best friend seemed resigned to the fact that Tuney and her would never have a close sisterly relationship. She was glad that her sister was happy and well. Rose and Harry were happy for their daughters who were happy with their choices. 

Once they were back at Hogwarts he offered his condolences to a distraught Potter. For the first time he spoke to James without rancor. “I am sorry for your loss Potter. Your parents were very decent and mother says they were always kind to her.” James nodded and walked away. Lily became Head Girl while Remus was appointed Head Boy. Severus felt real pain when in late February Lily started dating James Potter.

After his parent’s death James Potter seemed to mature and his influence pored over to Black who seemed content with only sneering at him. The news of James and Lily dating did not take him by surprise. It happened in the same way last time. Potter had been fragile and Lily, the sweet person that she was had nursed him back to happiness. It was a whirlwind courtship really, not two years later they were married and had Harry on the way.

Severus got raging drunk that night after Lily told him that she was seeing Potter. They were by their windowsill when Lily told him. He had known since that morning. Marlene let him know in the most delicate way that she could. “I don’t want you to be taken by surprise.” She said and gave him one of those hugs that made him almost believe that that he could love her.

They were sitting. “I am James’s girlfriend.” She said with a quiet voice. “I know.” He said in the same quiet voice.

“I thought you should know. You are my best friend and I know you two do not have the best history. I don’t want to lose you.” She said with tears in her eyes. Severus looked up and saw her tear streaked face. He caressed her cheek. “You could never lose me. We will always be friends remember. Always.” He rested his forehead against hers. He felt as if his heart was breaking in a million pieces.

If he left her then it would look as if he was rejecting her. He stayed with her. Held her as he had held her countless times since he got back to this timeline. Severus smiled bitterly; he should consider himself lucky to have had so many hugs, those handfuls of kisses and all those countless smiles, and looks. “I never thought you would go out with him.”

“He’s changed. He’s really thoughtful and losing his parents was a hard blow on him.” Lily explained and exalted James’s qualities. He was James now and will remain James forever now. No more Potter or Toerag.

Severus listened and repeated like a mantra. “It’s supposed to be this way. She is Potter’s. If that changes the premises of the whole war changes, she will have Harry. She will live and I will help her and Harry.

They were quiet for a while until Severus deemed enough time had passed so he could leave and lick his wounds, safe and away from her. She did not look so happy when they parted.

He went back to his dorm and ordered a house-elf to bring him fire-whisky. He locked and placed charms around his bed and drank. He wanted to curse Potter into oblivion and forget about the prophecy, fixed points in time and the wizarding world.

The world did not stop because Potter and Lily dated. Life continued and the seventh years were in a hurry to learn everything for their N.E.W.T.S. Potter and Black wanted to become aurors. Remus experienced bouts of anxiety. He was not sure whether anyone would employ him because of his condition. Marlene wanted to be a Healer while Lily was not sure she wanted to be an Auror or something else. This lifetime he would make sure she did all she wanted to do. Severus was sure of his decision; he would get his degree in potions.  It hadn’t changed; contrary to popular belief Potions had not been a second choice. He loved potions and research and he would continue to do so.

All of them learned to disapparate by May; even Potter and Black who sought private classes during Easter break. Dumbledore allowed it because of the increasing disappearances and murders. It was mounting, the casualties, the horror. They first war started to peak under their gazes. Their DADA instructor was fairly competent and as a final lesson decided to review or in some cases teach the Patronus charm.

Gryffindors and Slytherins practiced under the witch’s watchful eyes. Sirius was the first to conjure a big dog. Remus smiled sheepishly when a silver wolf erupted from his wand. Pettigrew could not seem to get the incantation right. Lily tried unsuccessfully to conjure one. Severus watched as a few of his Slytherin classmates tried to shoot wisps of silver mist. Bole was able to produce a hare while Nott managed to produce a silver hawk.

Potter’s half formed stag tried to take form but he could not manage to keep it from dissolving into thin air.

Severus concentrated in Lily’s face and her smile. He remembered the time they went to the local pool when they were ten and they had those lemon pops. He smiled at the memory and conjured the patronus. His silver doe pranced around the room, beautiful, like an old friend it came to greet him. Lily smiled in awe when the creature circled her. She said the incantation and a silver doe appeared too. Their does pranced and played around. Potter wore a scowl on his face for the rest of the day. Lily ignored his childish attitude.

Their exams took place a week before the end of the year. All seventh years without excuse congregated in the library. Even Mulciber read his notes about transfigurations.  Severus and Remus practiced defensive spells while Black and Lily recited steps for complex potions. Potter and Marlene swapped charms notes while Pettigrew nervously paced around with his beady eyes.

They had their exams. It was such a relief to finally finish the grueling exam sessions that no one cared in which house they were. The marauders, Lily, Marlene and him were in an abandoned classroom when Lils conjured a radio. “It won’t work.” Severus said with a tired voice he sat on the floor. Marlene next to him, leaning, sleepy; Black shot him looks of pure hatred from across the room. He and Pettigrew sat on a table. Potter had his head on Lil’s lap. Remus sprawled on the floor asleep. Severus lit a cigarette; a vice that followed him into another lifetime it seemed. Lily smiled and asked him for one.

“You can’t. It’s bad for you.” he sneered at her. She frowned and grabbed one from his hands. She lit it up. Remus who had woken up and had his own stash and pulled one too. The purebloods were used to seeing their friends with cigarettes now. Black had picked the habit but refused to smoke in front of Severus since he had introduced them to their group.

Lily tweaked and did a complex wand movement and “voilà” It had been years since he heard that song. “ _Roxanne, you don’t have to put on the red light_.” Severus forgot that he was amongst enemies and sang. He relaxed and sang to The Police’s _Roxanne_. Lils and Remus sang along with him.

Lupin and him could pull it off but Lils was terrible. He laughed at her. “You sing horribly.” He guffawed. She giggled and punched him on the arm. Potter sat up and saw with angry eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder. She kept switching stations. They heard Hotel California, some ABBA and Satisfaction. Black liked that one.  She finally smiled. Severus leaned back and heard the beginning of Stairway to Heaven. They sang in small voices. He was utterly relaxed.

“That was beautiful Sev. What is it?” Marlene asked with a serene smile. “Stairway to Heaven” By Led Zeppelin.” He answered.

Lily went back to Potter. Black glared at him. Pettigrew scurried away and Lupin claimed exhaustion. The moment was broken. It was to be the last time all of them relaxed in a very long time. One of them would not be alive once they reached London in two weeks.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Three days before departing for London Lily came to him and smiled. “I’ve joined the Order of the Phoenix.” She said without preamble. Severus choked on his pumpkin juice. “You did what!”

Lily frowned. “I enlisted. You should do the same.”

He scowled back and grabbed her hand. He dragged her away from the somewhat crowded Hogwarts grounds. Severus seethed. “Are you completely mental?” He hissed.

“No, let go of me.” She snapped.

They were in a deserted corridor. He let her wrist go. “How could you do such a stupid thing? This is not a game Lily, people have disappeared and many more will.” He stammered impatiently.

“Which is why we should be helping Dumbledore.” He cut her off. “You Know Who is targeting your kind Lily. You are muggleborn and brilliant but he will not hesitate to come after you.”

“My kind.” She repeated with some anger. Severus was angry too. He had watched her fall in love with that Potter prick and risk her life last year when Lupin attacked them. This angered him. Didn’t she understand that he was trying to protect her?

He was enraged beyond belief, “Come off it. You know what I meant. This is not a game Lily. Once we are out of Hogwarts we will have to hide. Leave the United Kingdom if possible.

He had thought about it and the idea of her and Potter leaving the country made more and more sense each passing day. Yesterday Voldemort and his followers tortured a muggle woman and her five children. The incidents escalated and it would be a matter of time before the major attacks started.

Lily laughed. “Have you gone mad? I can’t leave The U.K. I will not. I am not a coward Sev. I will fight alongside the Order. Dumbledore has great plans for all of us.” She said seriously.

Severus was only too aware of the old man’s plans and ideas for the greater good. “He is using you. You are his puppets, Potter, Black and Lupin.”

She frowned. “What will you do Severus? Will you stay aside while Voldemort kills innocent people?”

He cursed in his head. She had a sense of righteousness and justice that was immovable. “I am trying to protect you Lily.”

“Maybe I don’t need protection. I can protect myself. I want to fight. I could never be a bystander while people die.” She intoned and left in a huff.

She was so young, her head full of dreams and ideals. Lily had not yet experienced the bitterness of war. She was untouched by the horror that was the battlefield. She did not know how it felt to see someone die. Lily hadn’t woken up at night because of nightmares. She did not shake or drew her wand at sudden movement and noises.

He marched to Dumbledore’s office and tried a billion and one passwords until the gargoyles let him in. “Oh Severus, I was just about to send for you. Remember our talk, a year ago?”

Severus nodded, “How many fools have you manipulated into enlisting? Have you any idea how many of this young people will die before the year is over?”

The headmaster’s face hardened. “We must fight now before is too late. I have corroborated at least three of the possible horcruxes son. The cup, Hephzibah Smith died without heirs and that cup has been missing…”

“I have no interest in knowing any of this.” Severus explained. “Lily Evans should not have a part in any of this. She will get hurt. Leave her out of this.” He stated.

“She is an adult; free to chose and decide her path. It never does any good to decide for others. Lily Evans is a bright consenting young witch who has chosen to follow the path of Light. I suggest you do the same son.” Albus held his shoulders. They were the same height now. In a few months he would be taller by a few good inches.

“I am not deluded enough to buy into the bollocks you feed your bleeding Gryffindors.” He spat and left the office in mutiny.

Lily did not speak to him for the rest of the school year. She rode with Remus and the rest of the marauders while he rode with Marlene. He could not stand the idea of her near Pettigrew. He could not do anything since the vermin was not a Death Eater yet. The coward would pledge a few years later after Harry and Longbottom were said to be the possible chosen ones.

Marlene was aware of the marauders’ pledge to the Order. “My brother’s are members. My parents too.” She said unconcernedly. He realized his arguments were not going to sway the Ravenclaw. She would be part of the Order too, in a short months if he calculated correctly.

“We have to fight…” The girl started. Severus rolled his eyes. “Oh spare me.” He said and proceeded to shut his eyes. He planned to sleep the whole ride. The train arrived to London without any delays. He helped Marlene with her rucksack. “You should come to my house. It’s not far from here. I could introduce you to my mum. She is great with potions.”

“I am sure she is.” Severus drawled. Marlene punched him in the arm. “What was that for?” He rubbed the sore spot. “You were mocking me.” She laughed again when she saw his sour face. Black called her, “Len wait up.” Marlene turned around. “What is it Sirius?” She asked politely. His arch nemesis smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll owl you.”

 The Ravenclaw girl laughed and pushed his arm. “Stop Sirius.” She grabbed Severus’s arm. “Come on Sev. I want to meet your baby brother.” Black glared at him and stayed back. Severus couldn’t help but smirk. The mutt still held a torch for Marlene. It was always fun to get a rise out of him.

He hugged Marlene to his side and she smiled, a big open grin. Potter and Lily were holding hands ahead of them. Remus and Pettigrew spoke about their summer plans and possible visits. The rat smiled nervously, fretting over his N.E.W.T.’s scores.

“Promise you won’t forget about old me.” Marlene was an incorrigible flirt. He mumbled something when the attacks started. Severus could see his mother and father on the other side when death eaters blasted the barrier. Soon both muggles and wizards screamed. Many dissaparated but then people couldn’t. Voldemort must have had placed enchantments. The Dark Lord was here. He heard the screams and drew his wand. Three death eaters approached his mum, dad and Gus. He saw as all his classmates fight. Marlene was by his side throwing hexes. Severus did the same and saw as mum ran and hexed a couple of them Tobias held Gus and tried to ran away. The young Slytherin fought back as many death eaters as he could he stunned but it was clear that they were overpowered. He saw many students wounded. His family, he couldn’t see them anymore. He saw a flash of red. Lils had Black by her side and they fought Lucius. Remus fought Mulciber, who dropped any pretense of a mask. He saw Voldemort then, close by Lils. Severus did not think twice. He ran to her and aimed at his old master.

He pushed Lily and tried to duck all the stunning curses. “Young Severus, come to the fold. Your true brothers tell me you are exceptional. Join the winning side.”

Severus watched as Lils held his hand. She was white as a sheet. “Stay here. Don’t get up.” He warned and fought Lord Voldemort. Potter, Black and Shacklebolt joined forces with him. The Aurors were here. He saw Alice and Frank Longbottom fighting death eaters. Soon the place was filled with aurors. Lord Voldemort dissaparated with a flourish. The other death eaters vanished too. He saw another flash of red hair and Lily Evans was hugging him. “Are you ok?” She cried. He nodded. “Mum was here. I saw my mum.” Severus said with an edge of fear in his voice.

Potter yanked Lily out of his arms. He kissed her, “Oh Love, you’re fine.” He hugged her. Lily was limp and continued to look at him. He felt bereft and walked to his right Marlene had been next to him. He saw Lupin and Black on the floor. Sirius sobbed, heart-wrenching sounds came out of his mouth. Severus approached their figures and what he saw drained the blood out of his face. Amidst the rubble was Marlene, her eyes full of terror, surprised, dead.

“She’s gone Padfoot.” Lupin tried to lift Black from the ground. Severus dropped next to Sirius and fort the first time in his life he shared something with Sirius: grief.

Black roared, “She was next to you. You were supposed to protect her.” Black punched him.

“Padfoot, no, STOP.” Lily gasped.

“Gods.” She muttered.

Severus looked at Sirius. “We have to take her to her parents.” He said. There was no time to linger. Ministry officials, healers and Unspeakables roamed around the destroyed platforms. Sirius stayed with Marlene’s mum who was distraught. Potter searched for Pettigrew, the coward must have fled. Lily was glad her parents decided to not make the trip to London. He had to find his parents. He needed to see if mum was fine. Gus…, the baby had to be fine. Mum should have had enough time to disapparate.

Lily was shaking when she said goodbye to Potter. She refused his offers of taking her home. “Look for Peter. Please owl me when you know something.” She flinched when James kissed her.

Severus held her hand and they disapparated. They apparated in a back alley close to Spinner’s End; he hurried to his home. They must have looked a sight running through the streets with their robes singed and their faces with fear and scrapes on them.

He opened the doors and found his mother waving her wand around the house. “Salvio Hexia. Protego totallum. Protego maxima. Repellum.” She chanted.

Mum turned and hugged him. “Tobias he’s safe.” She yelled. His father came from the other room with Gussie clinging to him.

“Oh thank the Gods.” Tobias hugged him and kissed his forehead. They were the same height. Lily took Gus from Tobias.

Severus hugged him back and noticed that he was shaking. He had to hug him, he was happy Tobias was alive. Gus needed a dad. “I’ve been calling King’s Cross. They are all saying it was a train wreck. Your mother was about to go to the wizard’s hospital.”

“I’m fine.” He pulled back and held Gus. He babbled and tried to go back to his dad.

“Oh Lily. We are so happy you’re fine.” Mum said relieved.

Lily cried and he remembered. Mum never met Marlene and Tobias only met her once. “Marlene is dead.” He said somberly.

Lily stopped crying. “We have to go back. We have to help.” He nodded and made for the door.

“You can’t go back there.” Tobias sounded properly scared. Severus tried to imagine how it would feel like to be defenseless like his father. Eileen looked disconcerted too.

“I have to. Some of our friends are missing.” Severus said the first thing that came to mind. He had to make sure the McKinnons buried Marlene.

Eileen nodded, “Mrs. Snape? Could you protect my house?” Lily asked with some hesitance.

“Oh dear, with all of this I had forgotten. Of course, I’ll explain to them.” Mum disapparated, so did Lily and him.

Hogwarts graduating class consisted of forty-three students. Three days after graduation there were twenty. Many perished that sunny afternoon in King’s Cross and a few died in St Mungos due to magical injuries. Voldemort seemed to have targeted the older students. There was only a dead Slytherin boy, a second year.

Severus, the marauders, and Lily attended Marlene’s funeral. It was a very depressing affair. The McKinnons were distraught; they all were. Severus was completely surprised when the eldest of her brothers shook his hand. “You must be Severus. Marlene spoke about you all the time. She loved you.” The young man laughed bitterly and cried a little. He nodded. “She was very important to me.” He did not lie. Marlene had been so very sweet. She was smart, funny and beautiful. Marlene was dead. She was gone; she had been so young, so full of life. He mused bitterly. They stayed there until the very end when the eldest McKinnon buried his daughter. Marlene’s mother fainted at some point. Black looked somber and cried silently. He was crushed. Potter was by Lil’s side. Remus and him were side by side. “Did you ever find Pettigrew?” Severus noticed the vermin was absent.

Remus nodded, “He was unconscious and very shaken up. He is with his mum and dad.”

Severus had an inkling that the rat had run away. He did not mention anything. They were in the wizard’s graveyard in London. Many of the guests had gone but they stayed. Black and him had been the last to see her alive if one did not count her attacker.

“Did you see who did it?” Black asked with a rough voice.

“No.” was his short reply. Both men looked at the gravestone. It read, “Marlene Moira McKinnon, beloved daughter, sister and friend.”

“You were by her side. She trusted you.” Sirius repeated but Severus could tell that there was not any fight in his words. Marlene’s loss was too deep for him. The young half blood contemplated for the first time that Black had lost his first love. It was obvious that Sirius loved Marlene. He remembered when he found Lily’s broken body.

Severus did not explain anything. “She loved you even though you love Lily.” Sirius said painfully.

“How could she love you? You did not deserve her.” He said inquisitively.

The mutt was correct. Marlene was too good. She had been pushy, and relentless but a beautiful soul. She was light, just like Lily was; Marlene was beautiful in her own light, like Molly Weasley, Narcissa, Nymphadora and his own mum.

“I don’t know. How can Lily love James?” Severus asked. “We don’t choose Black. If I could have chosen I would have fell in love with Marlene. I would have loved her but we do not get to choose.” Severus pondered. He lived a lifetime without Lily, he had never loved anyone else. His position as a spy left him little time to socialize but there had been other women. Brief interludes that he ended before they could become something more.

Severus took his leave after those words. Black and him would never see eye to eye. They were too different; there was a world of animosity between them and nothing short of a divine intervention would repair the rift. The Gryffindor stayed back looking at Marlene’s tomb.

He walked back to Lily and the other two marauders. The two young men halted their conversation as soon as he approached. “Lily, it would be best if we left now.” Remus slowly walked back and away from them. Potter glared at him. “Lily and I have some errands to do.” The pureblood wizard held onto Lil’s waist, a clear sign of possession. Severus glared back. Lily on her part looked torn. The trio saw as Dumbledore appeared out of thin air. “Sev, I have to go.” She said in a hushed voice. The Order of the Phoenix had begun to hold meetings.

Severus felt impotency flow through his veins. He was here to protect Lily and he would be unable to do so when she was in missions with the Order. Dumbledore stepped close to them. “Severus, how wonderful to see you.” The benign electric blue eyes stared at him through the half-moon glasses.

He glared at him. He felt obligated once again. Some things had a way of happening regardless of how much Severus wanted to change them... “Headmaster, is your offering still in the table?”

The old man smiled, a fatherly gesture. “Of course. We were on our way to headquarters.”

Potter watched in confusion and then it dawned on him that Snape was going to be inducted. “You cannot be serious about this!! He is a bloody Slytherin!!!”

Lily glared at her boyfriend but remained quiet. Dumbledore addressed the marauder. “He is and so he shall remain. Mr. Snape will be a valuable addition to our group. We need all the help we need and Severus is welcome to join. He has declined to follow Lord Voldemort and his insight is most valuable.”

Dumbledore magicked a piece of paper. “Those are Headquarters for now.” He disapparated. Severus read the piece of paper. It was an address in Ireland. He concentrated and left.

It was a nondescript house. He had not been invited to meetings in his previous life. He was ever the dutiful spy, silent and behind the shadows. He entered the house. Lily, Potter, Black, and Lupin entered too. Dumbledore pulled him aside into a small office. The room was cluttered; it belonged to a man four sure. “We are in Alastor Moody’s house. I have great plans for you Severus.”

He felt a trickle of fear and ice down his spine. He would not spy again. “I will not follow Voldemort.”

Albus watched him calculatingly. “A spy would benefit us greatly son. You have the skills, you would do perfectly.”

“I will fight for you but not as a spy. It is not possible anymore. I have refused him twice. He will not ask again. He knows about my blood status too.” Severus was certain; the Dark Lord was arrogant.

Dumbledore frowned. “I had hoped you would see things differently but alas you are but a young man. Tom does not fight for purebloods. He seeks power; the pureblood fanatic agenda is but a façade for his true intentions. You are accurate in your assessment however. Voldemort will not approach you once again.” He sounded regretful. Severus thought back to the attack in London three days ago. The Dark Lord asked him to join once again and he refused. He even attacked the dark wizard.

“So we must adapt to our situations. You will be an admirable asset to the Order.” Dumbledore explained what the Order was and how they operated. The older man spoke softly. Severus remembered what Order members did during the first and second war. They protected muggleborns, muggles and were the driving resistance against Death Eaters and Voldemort.

Albus watched him closely. “Of course you will be free to pursue your particular ventures. You are a talented young man. You indicated you wanted to be a Potion’s Master in your career interview.”

The older man was nothing but thorough when it came to investigating his warriors. Severus nodded. He was not too sure if he could become one now. In the magical world there was no universities. Those who wished to pursue academia had to contact their own masters. Old pureblood families with connections arranged everything. Voldemort had provided him with dark masters who trained him well. Now he had no prospects. He doubted very much that his grandfather would help him.

“Severus, I have a proposition for you.” The young man listened carefully. Albus’s propositions had a way of backfiring.

“Help me find the horcruxes. You will be part of us son. You will train with Nicholas Flamel. All I ask is for you to tell me what you are hiding.” He said plaintively.

Severus schooled his features, “I am not hiding anything Headmaster. I don’t want to be a part of this.”

The older man sighed and said clearly, “But you are. I have no illusions as to think that you are here because of your personal convictions son. You came tonight because of young Lily Evans. You love her and would do anything for her. I have seen you look at her son.”

He had almost forgotten how insightful and perceptive his old friend could be. “I want her safe.” Severus said honestly.

“We can keep her safe. She’s very brave Severus. She is a kind soul who would never be content in the sidelines. Let her fight, don’t stifle her.” Dumbledore smiled, “Oh to be young and to love.” Severus rolled his eyes.

It was time to answer him. “I will help you. I don’t want glory. I don’t want anyone to know about the horcruxes. We have to be careful.” The headmaster nodded and recounted all he knew about the objects. They were on shaky grounds. The diary, the ring and the cup were the ones Dumbledore could keep track of. “I have searched for the ring without any luck. He must have them in his possession. There have to be hiding places.”

They discussed probable places for about an hour until someone rapped on the door. “Oh they are waiting.” The headmaster stood up and led him to a bigger room. A living room of sorts, there was a big rectangular table that served as host for at least twenty people. The marauders were there, Lily, the Prewett brothers, Alastor Moody, who still was whole, the Longbottoms, Aberforth Dumbledore, Caradoc Deadborn, Benjy Fenwick, Dedalus Diggle, Marlene’s brothers. He was taken aback when he saw Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Those two men were not supposed to be there. They were part of the second wave.

“We shall begin. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Severus Snape. Our newest recruit.” Severus sat next to Remus who smiled welcomingly. Lily’s eyes sparkled with happiness. Potter and Black looked murderous but remained silent. Pettigrew looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else but there.

Severus listened to Albus and his news on Voldemort’s attempts to gain power in the wizarding world. “Voldemort must not infiltrate the ministry. Arthur, we appreciate your efforts…” the rest of the meeting was explanatory more than anything. Severus learned the Kinsgley, Potter and Black were to be in the ministry as aurors were in charge of recruiting more people into the Order. Dearborn and Fenwick defended rural parts of the United Kingdom while Diggle, and some other people who were not in the meeting watched over city parts. They were to hide and protect muggles. The Prewetts, Moody and the Longbottoms fought actively against Death Eaters. Lupin, Lily, and the rat were in charge of recruiting too. They just did not where yet since none of them had decided on a career path.

The meeting ended and they were free to socialize. Alice hugged him. “Frank, this is Sev.”

He could see Neville in both his parents. “Nice to meet you Severus.” The kind looking man extended a hand. Severus shook it, “I don’t remember you. Which house were you in? A Ravenclaw perhaps.”

“He’s a Slytherin.” Potter said a little too loudly. All the people in the room turned to look at him. There were whispers and a little reaction from Moody who approached Dumbledore, clearly puzzled. Severus understood then that it would be just like last time. He would not be accepted by all of them just because this time he was not a confessed death eater. Frank retreated but Alice stayed. Lily looked furious with her boyfriend. Severus was about to politely leave when Remus and Kingsley approached. “Kingsley Shacklebolt.” He offered a hand. Severus shook it. “Severus Snape.” He said.

“I remember you.” Kinsgley said kindly. “You are the little Slytherin who used to read by the empty stacks in the west wing in the library. You helped me find those books on advanced potions.” Severus nodded. Kingsley was making too much noise. He gave him the books when he was in third year and the auror in his seventh, just so that he could go away with all his racket.

Lily grinned beautifully. Suddenly she found Kingsley fascinating. She reserved a rather ugly look to her boyfriend. Marlene’s brother found him and clapped him on the back. “She would be so happy to see you here.”

Remus made small talk with him and soon a few of the members asked his name and introduced themselves. All of them recoiled when he stated his house but Severus was used to that ridiculousness. He waved it off. Arthur Weasley tried to escape his brothers in law. Severus was reminded of Fred and George Weasley. They came their way. Fabian and Gideon Prewett dragged him by their side. “Hey mates.” Fabian called. James and Sirius smiled. “Let me introduce you to Arthur our brother in law.” Gideon said with a huge smile.

“Arthur Weasley, nice to meet you.” He said with a smile. Lily smiled back. Potter shook his hand. Black remarked that they were somehow related and Remus offered his hand too. Pettigrew scurried away. Severus wondered one more time if the rat had turned yet. Severus had not known the rat was a death eater until after the mutt escaped Azkaban.

“Fabian, Gideon, this is Severus my best friend.” She said proudly.

“Her Slytherin best friend.” This time it had been Black the one to note the fact.

Fabian and Gideon looked uncomfortable and surprisingly so did Arthur. Molly’s husband; who always asked if Severus was fine when he came back from his undercover missions and dissipated those uncomfortable moments when none of the Order but Dumbledore believed in him.

Lily glared at Sirius. Severus could see the distrust in the Gryffindors eyes. “Yes, I have known Sev since we were children. We grew up together.”

Fabian looked puzzled at Lily. “I thought you said you were muggleborn.” These brave men could not believe a Slytherin could be nothing less than a pureblood.

“I am.” She said with a huge smile. Gideon asked the rude question. “How can you be when you know him?”

Severus smiled. Lily was nothing short of amazing. “I am a half-blood. My father is a muggle. I grew up in muggle Manchester with Lils.”

Arthur’s eyes sparkled, “You know muggles.” He said with awe. Severus nodded. Molly’s brothers looked less wary of him. Arthur seemed to have forgotten his previous mistrust and started an almost one-sided conversation about electricity. Lily corrected him and promised to invite him to her fully decked muggle house whenever he chose to. “Oh Molly will be delighted. We’ll take the boys too.”

Severus saw as the Prewett brothers retired when Arthur pulled out his wand and produced pictures of his children. Lily and Kingsley obliged. Lils pulled Severus in, Remus left Dumbledore while Potter and Black drifted with the Prewett brothers.

“This is Bill.” Arthur showed him a picture of an eight year old. He then saw a smaller Charlie and Percy in a yard playing with a toy broomstick. “These two are Fred and George.” Severus felt a pang. He had disfigured the boy. The two mischievous boys he had taught looked to be no more than three month old.

“This is Molly.” Arthur smiled wistfully. Severus looked at a younger Molly Weasley. She was not as voluptuous but she had the same open and warm smile. Her eyes were kind even when she was young and sparkled with happiness.

Severus looked at the picture a little too much because Arthur looked uncomfortable. “I have to go Molly is at home alone with the boys…” He did not have to say more. They were acutely aware of his fears. There were more disappearances and attacks on muggle supporters. Edgar Bones and his family died six months ago. Ten masked wizards had ambushed the longtime muggle defender at the dead of night. He died only after he saw his whole family tortured and killed. He died of extensive wounds three days after the attacks.

The Slytherin waited a sufficient amount of time before making his excuses and leaving the premises. He apparated home, Tobias watched the telly with Gus by his side it was a football game. “Come Sev, watch it with us.” It was taped since that game had been played the day before but Tobias had been at work. It was about to start, Arsenal vs. Liverpool. Mum was by their side reading a book on magical plants and their properties.

“How did the funeral go? Why are you here so late Severus?” She asked.

Severus picked Gussie up. The toddler babbled. “Sev. Sev, sev.” He sat next to his Tobias Gus in his lap. They had to know before they were in jeopardy.

“I am a member of the Order of The Phoenix.” Eileen’s eyes opened comically.

“The Bloody hell you are.” She said angrily. Tobias gasped. “You have got to stop this Severus your mother has been worried sick since you left this morning and now you try to get yourself killed by being part of a resistance front.

Severus was befuddled. “How do you know about the Order?”

Eileen grabbed Gus from him and put a sleeping spell on the boy. She carried him upstairs to his room and came back in an instant.

“We get the Daily Prophet.” Tobias said without much convincing power. Severus had to give it to him, at least he knew about the Prophet.

“There is no use in lying to him Tobias. Dumbledore tried to recruit me and I politely refused.” She said haughtily. Mum grabbed his hands in hers. “Son, there is no use for this. You have a bright life ahead of you. England is too dangerous. Leave; go to America. You can travel. You have always wanted to travel…”

“No.” He was taken aback by the knowledge that Dumbledore tried to recruit his mum. He looked at her, “Why are you still in England? If it’s too dangerous then.”

“Our home is here. We have ties and as long as we don’t use magic we will be safe.” Eileen said with a firm voice. “You are young Sev, you can go and wait until is safe to come back. Severus, I saw you in King’s Cross. He targeted you Severus. I saw as he aimed at you. He is after you.”

His mother knew too much and by the look of things Tobias knew too. “Your mother says that we are safe as long as she doesn’t tell people where we live.”

“Fidelius charm. I placed one in the Evans’s home too. One can never be too careful.”

“Lily is part of the Order too. She has taken precautions too.” Truth to be told Lily omitted a great deal of information. Her parents were safe but oblivious to the real danger.

“This is because of Lily. You accepted because of her.” Eileen hissed.

Tobias frowned. “We know you love Lily but she is an adult. She makes her decisions; you cannot put your life in harm’s way because she is doing so. Reconsider Severus.”                                                                                                     

“There is nothing to reconsider. I am part of the Order.” He said resolutely and then marched upstairs.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Nicholas Flamel reminded him of what an old grandfather would be like if he ever had one. The man was ancient and pure wisdom. He met with the old warlock from Monday through Thursday and studied the arts of potion making. He tried to pretend he was less advanced but Old Flannel saw through his artifices.

“Young man, I have time, you do not. Stop wasting your time. You are here to learn and learn you will.” Ever since then Severus stopped pretending. He learned so much from Flannel.

Lily decided to pursue medi-wizardry. She reported to St. Mungos Mondays through Fridays. That summer of 1978 was of changes and deaths. The Mckinnons died three weeks after their daughter. They were slaughtered in their house, all of them. There were five attacks on muggle born houses and three “gas leaks” in muggle London, Edinburgh and Dublin.

By August of that year Severus moved out of homes. Eileen almost did not let him but the young man was firm in his decision. He needed space and freedom. He would not stay home now. He had money from his Prince grandfather who died and left him most of his inheritance. Augustus had been provided for but as the first male heir he had been given most of the vast fortune.

He moved to London and rented a room from Tom the barkeep at the Leaky Cauldron. He worked with Dumbledore when the older man required him to. They had managed to track the diary. Lucius had it in his power. Severus’s task was to infiltrate Malfoy Manor. Severus wrote to Narcissa who was delighted to invite him.

It was a sunny august afternoon when he strolled inside the Manor. Cissy looked radiant, she was the perfect picture of beauty. “Severus.” She said delighted to see him.

“How wonderful to see you again.” She put her hands on her belly. She was pregnant, the first of three miscarriages until Draco arrived. He was sad because this time he would not be there to assuage her sorrow.  

“You are expecting.” He said with a smile.

“Yes, I would like to have a baby girl but Lucius wants a boy.” She chattered happily and talked to him for more than an hour. He played the perfect part of the interested friend because in part he was. He was very interested in his old friend. Severus missed her. Cissy was a delight when they were young.

“I heard you refused the Dark Lord. Lucius was very disappointed. He thought you would be one of us.”

“Cissy.” He said softly and took her hands in his. “Did you take the mark?” For a few seconds he felt real fear and then he could not help it and pulled her robe sleeves. Her arms were blemish free.

She was agitated, “How dare you Severus?”

“I dare because you are my friend and I care.” He replied. Cissy hugged him then. “I’m scared Sev. I’m really scared. Lucius came home two weeks ago. He was twitching and Bella brought a couple of mudbloods. She killed them and I saw. They are less than us but it was horrible. They kept yelling and crying.” She sobbed.

Severus held her and kissed her forehead. “Leave him Cissy.”

She pushed back and shook her head. She wiped her tears and composed herself. “I love Lucius and he loves me too. I am precious to him as he is to me. The Dark Lord will win and once he does Lucius will be minister. The Dark Lord promised, he will rid the world of mudbloods. We will not hide anymore, muggles and mudbloods in their right place.” She spat pureblood supremacist propaganda she had been fed by Lucius and her family.

“Excuse me for a few seconds. I’m feeling a little queasy.” She left the garden in which she hosted him.

He saw his opportunity. He scribbled a note and used a disillusionment charm. Soon he unblocked charms and made it inside Lucius’s study. He searched for the horcrux in the safe by the shelf. He found it; it was trickier when he accessed it. He managed to unlock it. He replicated the horcrux and closed the safe. Lucius would never know he had a fake diary.

Diary in hand he disapparated to his London room. He used his patronus to alert Dumbledore. The headmaster apparated seconds later, “take my hand.” He did so and a pull later they were in a deserted building. “We shall do this. It will be dangerous Severus, stay behind me.

He saw as Dumbledore set the diary on the floor and then conjured Fiendyfire. The diary emitted a horrible sound and they watched as the fire burned the object. It was hard to put out and Severus disobeyed when the fire intensified. He stepped next to the wizard and together they put an end to the fire.

“Four more to go.” Severus huffed. Dumbledore clapped him in the back. “I told you to stay back.”

“The flames were not extinguishing, if I did not step in they would have reached the ceiling and then we would have been engulfed by it. We could have disapparated but we should avoid being noticed.” Dumbledore nodded. “Apparate to your room and wait for instructions.” Severus nodded and left.

It was several days later when he finally was able to meet with Lils. They were inside Fortescue’s having ice cream. It was late at night almost midnight. They had been speaking for three hours. “I visited Narcissa the other day.” Severus said. Lily looked surprised.

“The Malfoys are death eaters Severus.” Lily said with a cautious voice.

“Lucius is but Cissy does not bear the mark.” Severus said and paced. Cissy would not make it without him; the pain of losing her children would destroy her.

“She’s expecting.” Severus said in a quiet voice.

Lily gasped, “You can’t do anything for her Sev. She made her choices.” Lily tried to rationalize. Severus shook his head. “She did not. Her parents arranged that marriage when Andromeda escaped with Ted Tonks. She was not supposed to marry Lucius.” He said despondently.

His best friend’s eyes clouded with something he had not seen since his sixth year. She looked broken. “It’s her isn’t it? You love Narcissa.” Lily said with a hopeless voice. She looked miserable.

“No, I don’t, but she is my friend. She’ll hurt Lily and I don’t want to see her crushed. She is good.” Lily made a condescending noise. Something snapped in Severus. “It’s late Lily. I think you should go home.” He was tired and wanted the solace of his room. Lily’s waspish attitude to Narcissa did nothing for him. He was tired of the Gryffindor superior attitude. He experienced his fair share of that while in meetings with the Order. He did not appreciate Lily’s mistrust of Cissy. It added insult to injury.

Lily nodded. “James proposed.” She said as parting words. Severus wanted to punch a wall. He schooled his features and looked into those green eyes that despite everything he loved. “Congratulations.”

“I have not said yes.” She replied as they walked to the Leaky Cauldron.

“Yet. You will say yes. You love Potter.” Severus said with a calm voice. Lily grabbed his hand and stopped. She had tears on her eyes. “Do I?”

Her eyes were full of longing. “How do you know when you really love someone?”

Severus caressed her cheek. “You think about them every day. They are the first thought in your mind as soon as you open your eyes. You think about their welfare before your own. Every time you see them your heart stops beating for a second and then you feel as if three hundreds hippogriffs stomped inside your stomach. Their smiles, just their smiles suffice to conjure the strongest patronus. That’s how you know Lils.” He said and Lily hugged him hard. She wiped her tears and disapparated. Severus had moments of doubt, weakness like this. Lily did not look happy with Potter. She avoided much physical contact. It was not like last time when she looked disgustingly in love with the prat. His best friend was happier when she was with him. Severus’s ideas of prophecies flew out of him mind when Lil’s smiled at him or hugged him. He was brought back by the fact that Lily chose James once again, even in this lifetime he chose him because they are supposed to be together and it was not up to him to stop that love from happening.

He met with Remus by early December. His friend was in need of assistance. It was clear once he looked at his clothes. As members of the Order they saw each other whenever they had meetings but Severus avoided them as much as he could. Dumbledore did not mind his absence as long as he did his fair share when it came to the raids and his job with the horcruxes. They had not found anything about the diadem or the cup yet. The ring was as elusive as it once had been.

“Severus, I should not ask but I need a favor.” He hesitated. Severus knew how hard it was for Remus to ask for help. The werewolf was proud, even more so when he was younger.

“Anything I could help you with Remus.” He said honestly. They were in his room above the Leaky Cauldron.

“I need you to brew the wolfsbane for me again.” Severus was puzzled.

“Remus I thought you were to infiltrate with the werewolves.” It had been his idea to do so. Dumbledore tried to oppose him but Remus needed to be useful or so he said.

“Greyback found me out. He saw as I tried to get some other werewolves to seek wolfsbane and the Order.” He gave me this. Severus saw a nasty looking scar on his neck.

“I see.” Severus said. There was no need to go into details. Remus was private to the point of being pathological.

“So you will do it.” Severus nodded and Remus smiled gratefully.

“I’ll pay you back Sev. I have a job now in a muggle shop. I’m staying with Padfoot and Prongs so I don’t have pay any rent for the flat.”

Severus nodded. Lily told him about it two weeks ago. He had not seen her since then. She was busy with her training and her wedding preparations. She had accepted Potter’s proposal after a month of badgering on his part. Severus watched in silence as the love of his life profiled his life with someone else.

He accompanied Remus to the Leaky when a woman hugged him hard. “What?” Remus drew his wand. It was Cissy who was crying, sobbing desperately. The werewolf looked uncomfortable. She glanced at him and then looked away immediately. She fisted Severus’s robes.

Remus disapparated with a puzzled look. He waved him away. He escorted Cissy to his room. “What happened?” He asked, knowing already.

“I lost my baby again.” She sobbed. Severus kissed her forehead and let her cry. He learned that this was her third and Lucius begged her to not try anymore. He was crushed when Cissy did not produce their so awaited baby. “I can’t give him children. He can cast me aside, Severus. Please, you have to have something for me.” She begged.

“I’m so sorry Cissy but your body needs to heal. I can’t give you anything. You have to wait.” It had been like this last time. Cissy stayed with him that afternoon. She cried and he comforted her. He realized he had missed her so much. She had been so gentle, so nice to him. He had forgotten how much he loved her as a friend. His friend Cissy changed completely when he started teaching at Hogwarts. They drifted and she stopped being Cissy Black to finally become Narcissa Malfoy. She left late; she wiped her tears and kissed his cheek. “Don’t tell anyone.” She whispered and disapparated.

Severus did not hear from her. He continued his work with Flamel and the Order. Potter and Black were always involved in raids, as were he and Kinsgley. They brought down many nameless death eaters with much injuries. There were deaths on both sides. Deadborn died Christmas day 1978 by Voldemort’s hands, as did three muggle families in the Derbyshire. Ministry officials recovered his body.

Severus had been at home with his parents and Gus who was happily sang to Christmas Carols. Tobias cut some ham for Gussie as mother still called him. Tobias insisted in calling him by his full name. He spent a peaceful night with his parents and brother. He was surprised to learn that he could now have civilized conversations with his father. It had been close to five years since he came back. Severus talked to him and mum.

“How is your apprenticeship coming along?” Mum asked with a smile on her face. The wizarding world was at war and they had to be cautious but his parents were the happiest he’d seen them.

“Well, master Flamel says we will be done with my education by spring.” Tobias looked perplexed.

“Your mother said that it was like you going to University. She explained that this bloke Flamel invented the Philosopher’s Stone. Why is it only taking a year to train you?”

Severus did not hesitate. “I am excellent in potions. That is why the Headmaster recommended me with his friend.”

Eileen looked really proud. “I don’t understand why he chose an alchemist but believe me I’m not complaining. Nicolas Flamel is one of the most renowned warlocks in history.” Mother chattered about him to Tobias who looked proud too.

He stayed home. He did not see the point of going to the Evans’s house. Potter and Black would be there. Lily had invited him too but he decided to stay home with his parents. He would not suffer Potter’s presence if he had a way to avoid it. Lily did not look happy, she planned the wedding for late spring.

Severus had to laugh at a joke Tobias told. Gussie giggled and ran around the house. It was getting late. It was time to open some gifts. Severus opened his mother’s first. He was surprised to see jewelry. “It is half of the collection. Your brother of course has the other half.”

“These are yours.” Severus said. His best friends have been witches, pureblood and muggleborn. Narcissa flaunted hers family jewels any time she could through out the years. They symbolized status in the old pureblood world. “I kept my mother’s pendant. Your wife can have the rest and so will Gussie’s wife when he marries.”

Tobias laughed. “He’s hardly nineteen. He will not marry for many years.” Severus appreciated his words. “Well, they are his as the Princes’ Heir.” Tobias did not like her tone.

“He is a Snape Eileen.” His father said coldly.

Mother ignored his aloof tone. “Of course he is. He should have these.” Severus accepted them because mum would insist to the point of being a nuisance.

Tobias gave him a silver watch. “The one you have is too old.” He remarked. Severus nodded. He gave him that one when he was eleven and going to Hogwarts. He smiled and put on the new watch. His father beamed.

The news of the Deadborn’s death was not announced until late January of the next year.

1979 started with violence. Ten wizards were dead; a muggle village raided and put to fire. Severus now visited home every week to ensure that mum’s charms were working normally.

Lily caught up to him a night he was going home and walked with him from the Leaky Cauldron to muggle London.

“Why don’t we take the train to Manchester?” She offered and he accepted. Ever since she agreed to be Potter’s wife an awkward situation settled between them.

“I don’t want to marry him.” She said when they were side by side in the train.

Severus wanted to kiss her and laugh because it was the best news he got in a very long time. He suppressed his inner happiness. “Do you love him?”

“No, I don’t want to marry him. I think about what my life will be and I don’t see James by my side.” Her eyes looked at him beseechingly.

“He wants me to stay home and have children. I’m not ready to have children Sev. I want to be a mediwitch help people. I can’t do that if I have a baby.”

Severus nodded. He always thought Lily rushed into having a baby. Everyone was rushing, people married and lived in the moment because people died everyday and everyone was scared.

They talked about their projects. “I want to work Sev. I am studying the effects of the cruciatus curse and the imperious curse in the human body. It is fascinating. He lit up. Lily was smart and beautiful. He challenged her discoveries with findings of his own. The train ride felt short and easy. He wished they could see each other like this every single day. He knew it was impossible because Potter existed and had to exist in order to have Harry.

They walked hand in hand to their little town. She smiled all the while and then they saw Lil’s house. There was a huge crowd in front of it. Muggle firefighters worked to extinguish the last fires in the dilapidated house. The Evans’s house was no more than ashes.


End file.
